


A Cheating Odyssey

by asumiko



Series: These Charming Boys [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Amorality, Barebacking, Cheating, Cheating kink, Comeplay, Could this be crack?, Dacryphilia, Dirty Talk, Emasculation, F/M, Face Slapping, Happy Ending (believe it or not), Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Impregnation, Incest, Infidelity, Infidelity Kink, M/M, Manhandling, Manipulation, Masochism, Mild Blood, Moral Bankruptcy, Non-Binary Teddy Lupin, Other, Painplay, Rough Body Play, Rough Sex, Sadism, Sexual Fantasy, Sexual Roleplay, Spanking, Spit As Lube, Spit Kink, Sweat, The whole series spans about 30 years, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2020-07-28 02:04:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20056261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asumiko/pseuds/asumiko
Summary: Sirius Black let Remus Lupin have him. Love him, worship him, marry him.James Potter convinced Lily Evans to let him love her, worship her, marry her.But Sirius and James are an evil kind of creature, the kind that can have anyone and anything and knows it.Princes, alphas, charming boys with God-complexes and nasty cravings.They get off on constructing faithful lives with their devotees whilst pushing all morals aside to take anything they fancy, including each other.





	1. Symbiosis (James/Sirius)

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if I missed any tags.  
The only "love” that exists, at least in the first half of the story, is between James and Sirius. Despite the various pairings, everything that happens is linked to the main pairing. You could probably read most chapters separately, but it is all one story. 
> 
> I have never written fanfiction before and I do not have a beta, so I apologise for everything.  
I have no interest in Peter or side-characters, this is just glorified porn, becoming sweeter towards the end. It’s an AU where they all survive – justify it however you like. 
> 
> Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction. I do not own the Harry Potter characters depicted in this work.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most of what they plan to do.

Remus Lupin had started dating Sirius Black in fifth year. His werewolf complex as well as general feelings of being banal and scarred led him to believe that Sirius could never reciprocate, which eventually gave him the confidence to touch his lips to that beautiful boy anyway. He had little to lose when the reward was Sirius Orion Black. Remus would get hard just remembering how looking at Sirius made him feel. And although Sirius Black could have seduced anyone at Hogwarts into an unequal, codependent, worshipful relationship with him, he quite liked the idea of doing it to Remus. Remus, so untouchable, the shy bookworm full of prefect propriety and utter conviction that Sirius Black was God’s gift to his pathetic gay existence. Remus never stood a chance.

Lily Evans gave in to James Potter out of annoyance, but with herself. In a fantastic attempt to not be like other girls who would kneel before James at the flick of a gaze, she fell into being like other girls by fucking herself to thoughts of Potter anyway, suffering through a level of self-denial that she ultimately decided was unbecoming. After all, the boy seemed quite committed to a vision of true love and marriage and family with an idealised woman. Classic romantic. She figured that becoming that woman would end up making her feel special anyway, and better than the other girls. So she gave herself to him. Lily thought she’d won.

But James and Sirius, Sirius and James. Really, how ingenuous for anyone else to think themselves worthy of reciprocated devotion. They had the school at their feet, and later the whole wizarding world with their work as Aurors and their contribution in the war. Best friends, blood-pact brothers, Marauders. James and Sirius loved each other very much. They were such narcissists that they could only fully love the sublime beauty meeting their own gaze in a plotting smirk (or at least, so they thought). They pretended to be humble. That there was only one girl for James, that Sirius was flattered by the constant love confessions but that there was only one werewolf on his mind. They decided to do this very early on. They were teenagers, newly awakened to the power their bodies could exert over others. They couldn’t resist.

And that is how they ended up here, Sirius on his knees for James on Lily's side of the bed.

"You alright? You seem a bit distracted,” asked James looking up, ruffling his hair just so with the help of his ceiling mirror.

“I’m sucking your cock, isn’t that enough? Forgive me if you’re not the centre of my entire universe every fucking moment that I’m alive.” Sirius blushed straightaway at how blatantly untrue that statement was.

“And why aren’t I?” asked James, with a practised pout.

“Maybe because despite your constant attempts at symbiosis, we are still separate people? What kind of guy interrupts receiving a blowjob to have this kind of chat?” Sirius asked, perplexed.

“Maybe the blowjob wasn’t that good.”

“Fuck you, Potter. You can finish yourself off.”

Sirius got up, wiping his mouth on Lily’s mother’s hand-knitted bedspread after spitting disgustedly at James’s crotch. Sometimes James was so infuriating. Sirius had merely been thinking about how best to give him the good news, and now their lunch-hour tryst was well and truly ruined. Sirius wasn’t even hard anymore. Well, that was a lie. Merely thinking about James’s cock got him salivating like the dog he was. And seeing James manspreading on the edge of the bed, shirt half open, trousers still around his ankles after the haste with which they got to the bedroom, running his hand through his perfect fucking hair - it almost made Sirius stop pretending to be angry. After ten years of friendship, he still wanted him so badly. He needed a smoke.

Just as he was lighting up on the balcony, he felt solid arms wrap around his waist from behind. He couldn’t stop the contented whine that escaped him. He hated these interruptions in his and James’s lives, these unsavoury moments when they weren’t precisely on the same wavelength. Perhaps they did it out of instinct, since they were so awful to everyone else. But they never wanted to be to each other. Or perhaps it was because not doing it would reveal the unspeakable truth - that they loved each other as much as they loved themselves, which they only let slip on those rare occasions when the sex got so intense, it felt like there wouldn’t be a tomorrow during which to feel embarrassed. And so they bickered, and argued, and behaved like they thought the other was less than perfect and that they wouldn’t forgive him murder.

“Pads!” implored James.

“What!”

“You know I love your blowjobs," he muttered, bringing down his voice to match the stillness of the room.

“Tsk. Can’t even be nice to me when I’m down on my knees for you.”

James tightened his arms around him and rested his chin on his shoulder before talking again.

“And you know that you can tell me when you don’t want sex. We could’ve gone out for lunch, to that nice Thai place you like, and sat at your favourite table and talked about quidditch. You know I like doing that too,” whispered James, running the tip of his nose along Sirius’s nape. He always smelt so good. James hated all the perfume Lily wore but it seemed unreasonable to ask someone to change their grooming habits. It definitely made her less desirable, though. He could only really go down on her before she showered.

James’s voice was low and steady. The bastard was trying to be gentle. Sirius didn’t even understand why they were having this conversation instead of having the exciting afternoon Sirius had so been looking forward to. Should he try and get them in the mood again to break the news? He was sure James was gonna love it.

“I did want to fuck, you idiot. I was just gearing myself up to something.”

“And what’s that?”

“I’ll tell you.” Pause. “If you fuck me first.”

“Deal.”

Suddenly Sirius was being spun round, lifted off the ground, and thrown face down onto the marital bed. The Potters had given James and Lily a whole new house full of elegant furniture to compliment their white picket fence life. Sirius mentally thanked them for the four poster bed.

Today James was feeling irritable. Maybe because he hadn’t gotten to spend a single moment alone with Sirius for at least a week, and he wasn’t capable of saying he missed him without turning it into something dark and unhealthy. But Sirius understood him, and welcomed his particular expression of love. That’s why he was James’s number one.

He quickly grabbed his wand and removed all clothing barriers between his and Sirius’s body. His large hands roughly groped at Sirius’s cheeks, pulling them apart just to release them back against each other. Then smacks were heard, and each smack was followed by a moan.

“Hold your cheeks apart, I wanna see all the way up in your guts.”

James let spit drip into Sirius’s hole, a couple of drops sliding down to his balls. He roughly jammed two fingers inside his best friend, knowing it hurt and getting off on the fact that Sirius let him hurt him. After some scissoring, more spit and a couple of filthy endearments muttered at their reflection on the ceiling, they automatically slotted into place facing each other, both ready for that symbiosis to happen after all, both knowing that if they couldn’t see who exactly they were fucking, there would be no point.

Sirius loved James like this. He looked livid, trying to release any bad thought or feeling he’d ever had into Sirius. Everything Sirius did, he did for this man. There was a world of pleasure to be taken within that truth. They got frantic, pushing and pulling at each other, drops of James’s sweat dripping down into Sirius’s mouth. He tasted delicious. Sirius couldn’t wait to tell him about Remus, he’d been looking forward to this all week, waiting for a chance to get James alone, to get praised for what a good boy he’d been.

“What the fuck are you thinking about?” James bellowed suddenly, back-handing Sirius’s face, jealousy mounting. His bottom lip burst from the force. James had not underestimated his strength.

Sirius straightened his neck to admire his best friend. Yes, this was the intensity Sirius craved, why James was the only one for him.

“I wanted you to be the first to know,” Sirius got out through broken moans. James was nailing his prostate mercilessly on every thrust.

“Know what, Sirius?”

James didn’t know what Sirius was about to say, but he was so close to cumming, slamming his hips against Sirius’s arse with every forward thrust, the force of their movements rocking the bed back and forth against Lily’s carefully chosen wallpaper, his cock inhabiting that special place deep inside Sirius where James belonged. The blood pouring from his lip was a reminder that Sirius wasn’t originally made for James, the cosmos had never wanted that. James had had to drill that hole into him, to make him feel empty without James filling him up. He had made Sirius tell Remus, back when they started dating in fifth year, that he was exclusively a top and that he categorically refused to be fucked. Sirius had embellished the story with some traumatic memory of an uncle fingering him over his school shorts as a child and dear Moony had completely avoided his arse ever since. He hadn’t even looked close enough during the entirety of their relationship to notice that sometimes Sirius came home gaping and sopping wet.

“You know, it’s your birthday in a few days. I got you an early present.”

Sirius made a dramatic pause, almost too overcome by the feeling of friction against his bowels, of what he was about to say.

“I asked Remus to marry me. He said yes. Prongs, will you be my best man?”

Black-out.

James hadn’t cum that hard ever since he had made Sirius spurt white all over Lily’s wedding dress. He kept fucking Padfoot like an animal possessed, determined to overstimulate himself inside Sirius’s body.

Sirius somehow could still keep talking through his gasps of pleasure, through the searing pain of James’s fingertips crushing into his flesh.

“He cried. Said he got paranoid I was being distant these past few months and thought I was going to leave him. He’s been fearing me leaving him ever since we got together. He was so grateful, Jamie. You should’ve seen his tears, he looked so beautiful. He will love me forever.”

Still not slowing down his harsh rhythm, all for Sirius, everything and anything for Sirius, James suddenly remembered something. Something from before any couples were formed, when James and Sirius first took Remus under their wing. It’s true, Remus had always been so fucking grateful. The fact that they stayed friends with him despite his furry little problem, that they became animagi for him, that two people like Sirius and James even let him breathe the same air as them – Remus had adored them both from the start. Yes, both of them, not just Sirius. Only that Sirius gave up on the farce of being straight whilst James never had, had reckoned that being sexually transgressive would build him an even more desirable image, and he wasn’t wrong. He got an increase in confessions of thirty percent. But Remus had never really stopped looking at James, despite his love for Sirius. Not when Prongs stripped out of his quidditch uniform as he stepped into the dorm, nor as he was wont to swing his arm around Remus’s slim frame, crowding in on him, making him feel his body heat. There was a certain thrill in seeing Remus feel so ashamed afterwards. Because Moony worshipped his two friends, how superior they were to him, the protection they offered him, how incredibly hot and charismatic and powerful they were. Maybe the fleeting fantasy James had entertained during their Hogwarts days could be resurrected from the archive.

“I kind of wanted to fuck him, back at school. He would’ve let us do anything to him, rape him in his own bed and said thank you after we were done. Especially when he was so weak he could barely move after the full moon. Would have probably thought it’s the least he owed us.”

Sirius did love Remus in his own way, maybe more than he’d ever admitted to James, but he couldn’t deny that part of the appeal was the power he exerted over him.

“I…yeah. I thought about it too. But that’s why we have rules. We never let anyone else in on the game.”

“Yes, but maybe we should step up our game. So far we’ve been deceiving strangers picked up in bars. Made them believe we were cheating on each other by fucking them. But listen. I think I could get Remus to fuck me.”

“Shit.” Sirius stopped breathing for a second as his brain conjured that image. James taking Remus’s last virginity. Remus had no idea what topping felt like. “Fuck, James, how? Remus is actually a good person, you know.”

“Even good people have their limits. I’ll tell him I’ve been repressing some stuff and I just need to know. I can’t ask you because we’re best friends and it would just be awkward. But I’ve always thought he was pretty. And I just wanted to find out how his cock would feel like up my arse. You know, the comprehensive gay experience. He looks like he has a really big cock, and it would be no wonder that I’m a size queen. Me, letting him fuck me to help me figure out my sexuality? He’d cum in two seconds flat. He could never resist.” James leaned in closer to Sirius's ear, assaulting his body with pleasure. "And the guilt, Siri. Oh my, he won’t be able to look you in the eye for weeks.”

“Fuck, Jamie, I’m coming, I’m coming!”

James finally stopped moving his hips, staying sheathed inside, bending down to stroke Sirius through the aftershocks. He felt omnipotent.

“You know, Padfoot,”, he started conversationally as Sirius began breathing normally again. “Maybe it’s about time I got Lily knocked up. Then you’ll have two of me, and you could be the kid’s godfather. Wouldn’t that be lovely?” he asked as he tenderly ran his fingers through Sirius’s long hair.

“Ooh, that’s fucked up. But wait. Do you think Lily could want me to fuck her? Maybe I could get her knocked up.”

Pause. They were both staring up at each other’s reflection on the ceiling. It had slightly fogged up.

“Sirius? Sometimes I really think we should just off ourselves.”

“Yeah. Let’s make it a romantic double suicide, though.”

“Ok.” James tenderly licked a dark droplet off of Sirius’s chin and a translucent one off his cheek. “Anything you want, love.”


	2. Black on White (James/Sirius)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an unexpected turn of events, Lily and Petunia were going to be late for the wedding ceremony. Some muggle transport problem and Petunia being difficult.  
But no matter.  
Sirius will keep James company in the dressing room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the series, Best Friends, can be read at any point in the fic. 
> 
> I have no clue what I'm doing or what this looks like, but I want to post it anyway.

Married at such a young age, straight out of school. The perfect couple, just adorable. They’d probably start a proper family soon, after a perfect honeymoon, moving into their perfect new house. That was the general vibe at James and Lily’s wedding. Sirius was James’s best person, Remus was Lily’s. Peter, Frank, Alice, the Potters, the quidditch team, all who held them dear were ready to stand witness to true love. James had proposed in a predictably grand fashion with much magic and fuss, showing off by investiting thousands into the wedding, all to show Lily how much she should love him.

In an unexpected turn of events, Lily and Petunia were going to be late for the wedding ceremony. Some muggle transport problem and Petunia being difficult. But no matter, Sirius would keep James company in the dressing room.

James looked so bloody handsome in his shiny robes, hair slicked back, cocky posture, knowing anyone would be willing to take Lily’s place at the altar. Sirius wondered if he was included in that “anyone.”

“Do you ever think we should have done it the normal way? You know, so that maybe it would be us getting married today?” he asked.

This got James to shift his eyes in the mirror from himself to Sirius. “As far as I’m concerned, this way I have everything”, he said slowly. “You, and her, respectability, credibility, an effective façade. No one knows what we’re really like.” He paused. “Are you having doubts?” He approched Sirius with intention, coming to stand mirroring him, their lapels touching. “Because if you are, we run. If you don’t want this, if you’ve decided the thrill of the farce is not worth it, I’ll tell Lily she means nothing against you, we can shoo everyone away, you dump Remus, and I’ll get us married. Just say the word.”

Sirius was stunned. He knew that they had this agreement, that no matter what illusion they built around themselves, they were real. But to hear it at the final hour, minutes before what James and Sirius were doing would become even more unforgivable, made something inside him break. In the best possible way.

He lunged.

The pair fell into a tangle of limbs and fabric onto the sofa. Sirius was scared that if he didn’t turn this into sex, he’d start crying. Then again, James loved it when he cried.

“No. This is good. Now that I really know that you love me. I didn’t know that that was what I needed to hear to believe you until it worked. I, er, I think the four of us could have a pretty good life together. Fight evil, smoke pot, drink wine under the stars.”

James had never heard Sirius express any precise plans for their futures. His surprise must’ve shown because Sirius continued. “I think it might be fun, you know. This life. I mean, I’m tired of being scared of the future. We might enjoy it. So long as I know I have you, I’m good. Me and Remus are happy. You and Lily are happy. And, I mean, I don’t find this any less hot than when we started, you know?”

“I don’t either.” James went to nuzzle the back of Sirius's ear. His Siri was so amazing.

“Then we shouldn’t stop.”

Sirius had been straddling James, but only suddenly noticed that something was digging up into his taint.

“Heh? So, what’s this, then? What’s got you all hot and bothered all of a sudden?”

“You, of course.”

“Only me? You don’t think it’s got anything to do with the fact that you’re getting married in an hour to your high school sweetheart, and here you are with me, a few feet away from you wife’s wedding dress, and I'd let you fuck me on it cos I’m still disgustingly stretched from last night?” James couldn’t help but let out a whimper. “You should, you know. Just slide right in. I’ll be standing by your side for the whole ceremony, smiling at Lily, holding Remus’s hand, with your cum leaking down my thighs.” Sirius slowly started grinding into James, removing his belt. “I’ll get so horny I’ll have to drag Remus here during lunch and fuck him right on this couch. Then he’d have my cum leaking down his thighs as we give our speeches at the reception.”

Without removing any items of clothing, Sirius got James’s cock out and proceeded to grind on it with the seam of his jeans. The friction hurt so good. “Then you’ll probably drag Lily in here" continued Sirius, "to have your wicked way with her from under her gown, telling her how lovely she looks today. And then on and on until we all spontaneously combust into puddles of ejaculate and we get mopped up and flushed down the drain. The end.”

James punched him in the stomach. James never threw his punches. “Way to make me lose my erection, Padfood, jeez. What are you gonna do about this?”

Sirius elegantly lifted himself to his feet, unbuttoned his trousers, slid them down to just above his knees, and knelt onto the floor, effectively presenting himself to James. With his cheek flush to the ground, he looked back and ordered: “Breed me. I’m yours. Hurry, they might arrive any minute.” James didn’t need to be told twice.

Just as he was rushing to the door to lock it, Sirius shouted: “Don’t! Don’t lock it. Just do me here, right now, like this, where anyone could walk in.”

By the way Sirius was looking at him, James felt like he was being tested. His partner could never be reassured enough. Maybe he wanted proof that James would be willing to ruin his whole life to be with him. And James had never lied to Sirius.

Without ever reaching the door, he knelt behind his boy, and ate him out for all he was worth, pulling at the taut skin with his teeth. He tried to pour as much saliva as possible into Sirius’s hole, his hole, and somehow convey as much tenderness as possible within that action. Because this was them, and it somehow made more sense than anything he could’ve said. Without any preparation, taking him from behind, James pushed into Sirius’s hole, and without giving him any time to adjust started fucking in and out, in and out, just because he could, because he yearned to, because Sirius would let him do anything to him and say thank you.

On all fours, Sirius Orion Black was being sodomised by a blood traitor and fucking loving it. What would his parents say now, huh? James was pistoning in and out of his hole in a crazed frenzy, crushing Sirius’s face into the ground with both hands. When Sirius started panting and drooling open-mouthed, James hooked his hands inside Sirius’s mouth on either side and kept breeding him to within an inch of his life. He could barely breathe, spit dripping down to his neck and all over the floor, his body was on fire, his knees would be bruised, his cheekbone, and James’s love felt so painful that he did start crying after all.

Feeling warm tears stream down Sirius’s cheeks, James suddenly released the hold he had on his jaw and moved his hands to Sirius’s eyes, effectively blindfolding him to the world. His jaw clicked upon release, and he started crying harder and harder.

Now that his eyes had been made useless, it was like he could see what they looked like from the door, two beasts in heat, James using him and abusing him on his wedding day with Sirius’s loving boyfriend just a few rooms away making small talk with the other guests. Yeah, James was giving him the perfect life.

“Pads, I’m going to come inside you, give you so much of my cum you won’t get all of it out for days so that I never leave you, be inside you, fucked into you, so good, you’re so good, I love you so fucking much.” James had accessed an altered state of mind lost in Sirius’s guts. He began to rub his dirty hands into Sirius’s silky hair, digging his nails into his scalp, coming away with skin, wanting to get inside there too, if only they could become one and break down the ultimate barrier, corporeal existence, then they would have everything.

“Jamie, Jamie, cum inside me, fuck it in me, fucking turn my hole inside out, I need it, I need you, fist me next time, I want your whole arm in there, your whole body, gimme gimme gimme!”

Before cumming deep inside his best friend, he grabbed his future wife’s dress off the back of the chair and shoved it under Sirius’s body. He laved one hand thoroughly with saliva, the other pulling Sirius’s hair so hard towards it his scalp looked about to tear, and started fisting Sirius’s cock. He couldn’t help stopping to lift his hand to taste Sirius’s pre-cum.

“I want you to come all over it, over Lily’s pretty white dress, whilst I mark up your pretty pink insides. This should prove it, Pads, she’s nothing to you, just a game, our game, she’ll walk up the altar and smell of you and no one will be able to tell.”

“Remus could tell,” Sirius moaned out.

“Yes, fucking werewolf senses. Would be gold if he thought you fucked Lily all dressed up in white for me. Missing pussy so much you'd fuck your best friend's wife. And do you care?” Smack, smack, smack, he slapped Sirius’s arse with all the strength he had, the force of his thrusts smashing Sirius to the floor. His bare cock was rubbing up and down the sheer fabric, so soft, virgin white, Sirius was going to cum so hard, he could tell, James was so good to him, so good.

“No, I don’t care, let them see, let anyone walk in and see that I’m yours, that you fuck me like you own me! Gonna come untouched all over your wife’s wedding dress, please cum in me, in, fuck me up inside, pleasepleaseplease - ”, James suddenly stuffed the lace up into Sirius’s throat and painted his insides white. Sirius felt like he came forever. He got the impression that the dress had been transparent and that he had coloured it through.  
They lay, dirt and spit and sweat and cum, gasping to breathe in each other’s presence.

Then there was a knock.

“Hey, guys, just letting you know Lily is five minutes away, I’m just going to go tell the priest!” Remus’s lilting baritone came through the door. Had he heard?

They guessed they’d find out once they'd magicked away all evidence of their filthy, beautiful love.


	3. Lily’s Dry Spell (Sirius/Lily)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James hasn’t fucked Lily in six months so as to tempt her onto his best friend’s cock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: extremely far-fetched, must be justified through fanfiction logic. Not beta'd. 
> 
> Further warnings: impregnation kink, piercings, everyone is awful

Lily Potter was horny.

Ever since her husband got a promotion and his workload doubled, she rarely saw him and his libido had practically disappeared under the stress. Lily herself had quite the active sex drive, and would’ve been content having sex multiple times a day. No matter how many dildos she bought, masturbating just wasn’t enough and she just needed a good fuck. She had even started ogling other men. Even Remus, her dear best friend, had started to become a sexual object in her eyes. And needless to say, Sirius had never stopped being one. James was everything she could ever dream of, but she wasn’t blind. And she had always appreciated a more androgynous beauty. Sirius was fierce, and loud, and arrogant, but she couldn’t deny that if James had been even the tiniest bit queer, she would’ve begged him to invite his best friend in for a threesome. But alas, that was not to be. In any case, she’d stop eyeing all bodies with a decent cock hanging from them as soon as James settled into his new position at work and things got more stable. Maybe in the meantime she’d buy a bigger dildo.

James had always been a loving and attentive husband. Unfortunately for Lily, he seemed completely disinclined to satisfy any of her more hardcore needs. He always wanted to “make love” face to face, so they usually ended up in missionary position. He refused to ever hurt her, and always prepared her extensively, licking her out and slowly making his way inside her with his fingers. He wouldn’t even hear about pulling her beautiful red hair with which he’d fallen in love. Lily had never complained whenever James denied one of her requests. If he was that against doing it rough, he probably wouldn’t be good at it anyway. He was such a wonderful man, and one day would be a wonderful father (she couldn't wait to get pregnant). She could forgive him one flaw. He still always made her come multiple times. But six months without sex in her early twenties? She could forgive him for it, but she had to do something about it.

Lily could not have known that her sexual frustration had been carefully orchestrated by her two best boys. In plotting how to corrupt Lily into cheating on her beloved husband, they had decided that James would stop fucking her entirely. She was too good of a person to complain when the reasons James kept giving were so reasonable and so not his fault. She was an understanding wife, she would never be so selfish as to demand sex from her overworked husband. James didn’t suffer from the vow of abstinence, as he still had Sirius and a myriad of faceless holes roaming around who’d let him pound them during the waiting game.

It was obvious when Lily was ready. James encouraged Sirius to begin showing interest. It started with a few innocent touches, which escalated to heated looks whenever her husband turned around, to give the illusion that they mustn’t be found out. That if she wanted to give in to desire as much as Sirius wanted her to, they had to prevent James from getting suspicious. Her clueless, doting husband. She was sure he could never imagine that she’d do something as awful to him as sleeping with his very best friend just because her cunt had been empty for too long. It couldn’t be helped. James didn’t have to find out. Sirius was very smart, surely they could get away with it. She would never break James’s heart.

James was so excited. He had fucked Sirius hard and fast against the glass-paned door to his office, knowing that straight after his best friend would be going over to the apartment he shared with his wife to fuck her senseless. Sirius always fucked him so good, maybe Lily would think that he was better at it than James. That he had a bigger, better cock. It turned him on so much. He was going to come inside Sirius. Who would then convince Lily to let him fuck her without a rubber, planting his seed into her womb. They never fucked anyone raw apart from each other, but they knew almost for a fact that Lily was clean, James her only partner, and the compromise was worth it. Lily and Sirius’s child would be so beautiful. The excuse for Sirius going over alone was that James was on a work trip overnight (a.k.a. picking up some stranger in a muggle bar), and Lily needed help decorating the spare room. Lily was trying to incorporate Muggle ways of living into her meditative lifestyle, and Sirius had always been fascinated with all things Muggle. Yeah, they all knew how transparent it was, but that’s why it didn’t matter. Lily was so blinded by her assumptions of James’s heterosexuality and devotion to their marriage that she would never suspect she was playing right into his hand. She hadn’t slept for days, knowing that she was nearing the breaking point, and she would cheat on her husband with his best friend. If James ever found out, he’d probably kill himself. No, enough of that! Everything would be fine. Sirius wouldn’t want him to know either. A sneaky thought came in through the back of her head which told her that James would be more upset about Sirius’s betrayal than hers. But she set that thought aside. She had long ago accepted that Sirius would always hold an important place in James’s heart. And Sirius had definitely grown on her in the past few years. He was so sweet to Remus. Her best friend couldn’t help but gush about him every time they met up for afternoon tea.

Oh.

How could she have forgotten?! If she was cheating on James, Sirius would be cheating on Remus. She couldn’t do this. Not to Remus. He was so pure, so wonderful. But so was James. And they didn’t need to know. Maybe Sirius just missed pussy. Must be hard, swinging all ways, only getting to have one type of body. Maybe Remus couldn’t satisfy him; he looked like he’d be a prude in the bedroom. But maybe Lily could. Oh God, she was going to do this anyway, wasn’t she?

Sirius arrived via floo. Any doubts that Lily had about needing to do this evaporated upon seeing him. Come to think of it, she’d never been alone in a room alone with him before. His presence was mesmerising. He was wearing black skinny jeans, tall Dr Martens, and a fraying Led Zeppelin t-shirt enticingly giving her a preview of what she could find underneath it. Lily never thought she had a thing for Sirius’s heavy duty black leather jacket, but she’d obviously been in denial. His long hair was tied into a top knot and Lily got the urge to fuck herself on his cheekbones.

“Hello, love. How’s it going?”, he said, stepping into her and James’s living room like it was his own. It kind of was; him and James spent all their free time together, often here. Lily had always thought that their friendship was really sweet. Maybe Sirius wasn’t on the same page as her after all. Would he really betray James? Maybe he was just that attracted to her, and the feeling was mutual.

“Hey, Sirius, thank you for coming!” She approached him for a hug, and he almost lifted her off the floor, his hands too low on her back. He must be stronger than he looked.

_“Lily wants it rough but I’ve always said I’m not into it. I thought it would be funny to frustrate her. I promise you that if you can convince her you can fuck her into the mattress, she’ll be game.”_ That’s what James had told Sirius last month. Based on how she had shivered when he gripped her just on the side of too strong, Prongs was right on the money.

Sirius hadn’t had much interest in Lily in school. She was pretty in a very proper and stuck up way, and unlike with Remus, he didn’t have the urge to make a mess out of her, maybe because James was so obsessed. Talk of her got a bit boring given he didn’t find her that desirable. He figured she was the kind of person who would deny they ever masturbated. Ever since they’d left Hogwarts, however, his impression of her had started to shift. Not only had he caught her checking him and Remus out hungrily - he had also noticed that she could be alarmingly calculating. Sirius has started to suspect that her stubborn rejection of James wasn’t motivated by misplaced pride after all. Lily might’ve been playing a game of her own. One’s desirability stats certainly went up when the Headboy and quidditch Gryffindor captain declared his love to you to the entire school. Loudly and obnoxiously, at that. She had certainly achieved a superior social status by making it clear that she was practically doing James a favour by marrying him. All of his evidence was inconclusive, mainly based on gut feeling and fleeting impressions. But Sirius was rarely wrong about these things, and she must've been at least a bit fucked up, as Jamie never played games he couldn’t win.

“So, lead the way.”

As Lily was explaining to Sirius how she intended to decorate the room, both of them were trying to gauge whether a more high-risk strategy would be wise.

“Sirius, love, I wouldn’t want you to get your clothes dirty, you love that t-shirt. Lemme give you one of James’s old ones.”

“Oh thanks, yeah, you’re a sweetheart.” Fucking Lily whilst wearing James’s clothes would definitely make his best friend laugh.

When Lily came back into the room, Sirius made a show of stripping, showing off his body. His hip bones were sharp and when he lifted his arms you could see his rib-cage, but he still looked like he thrummed with coiled up strength. What shocked Lily, however, was Sirius’s navel piercing.

“You like it?” asked Sirius, slyly. 

Lily hadn’t realised she’d been staring. “It...yeah. It looks really good on you. I mean, everything does but uhm, I didn’t know you had it. I kinda wanted to get one when I was younger.”

Now that shocked Sirius. Well, she was muggle-born after all. Good girls were often fascinated with being bad. “You wanna see? It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. Not that I minded.”

It had been James’s idea. A woman he’d befriended and fucked a few times had a piercing shop in Hackney. To this day, he wasn’t sure what James said to her to arrange it, but Sirius ended up sat in James’s lap after-hours in the back of the shop, ass to crotch, arms pinned to his sides by James’s wrapped around him. The piercing artist had disinfected the area with erotic strokes, flashed her needle at them, and penetrated Sirius’s flesh before he even realised what was happening. As he squirmed in pain and was kept in place, James was hot and hard underneath him. After closing the metal bar, she licked into his mouth, running her tongue piercing along his teeth. When James forcefully grabbed him by the crotch and pressed down, Sirius came in his pants. He wasn’t even embarrassed. James had just made him prettier. All without asking, without his explicit consent, he just assumed Sirius would let himself be treated like an object to be dolled up. James was the best.

From across the room, he approached Lily, standing half a foot taller than her, grabbing her hand so as to guide her fingers to play with the steel. She was cold to the touch, and he erupted in goosebumps that made her want to rub her hands all over his body.

"Do you think James would like it if I got one too?"

"I'm pretty sure he didn't mind mine. You should ask him." Lily reluctantly pulled her hand away. "So, what exactly is this room going to be used for? James said it's your spare room?" asked Sirius. 

"Yeah, I don't really know but I want to make it as homey as possible before I start work again on Monday."

"Have you thought about it becoming a room for a baby?" Sirius thought he might as well amuse himself.

"Oh, well, yes. I have, but I wasn't sure whether James would think we are moving too fast."

"I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I think James is looking forward to being a father. I bet he'd be good at it."

"Yeah, I think so too, I just can't wait. But please don't tell James, I don't want to pressure him."

"Of course not, your secrets are safe with me." Sirius was struggling not to laugh at his own game play. "But how are you, Lily? I feel like you've been so busy lately, none of us know if you're doing well." The idea of decorating was mostly forgotten as the two came to stand closer. They left place for one person to stand sandwiched between them.

"I'm good. I just wish James wasn't working so much. I guess I'm kind of lonely." Lily figured this was called 'being coy'.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Jamie has been working so hard recently. I mean, me too, and with Remus busy with exam season I only ever see him at night, and we're both too exhausted to do anything but sleep."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I know Remus is working really hard as well."

"Yeah, I'm really proud of him. It's just tough. I guess I've been feeling a bit lonely too."

Was this really how people did it? They were both quite adamant at this point about what was going to happen next.

They squashed that imaginary-person-distance between them and locked lips in a heated kiss. Sirius usually didn't like kissing anyone but James; they didn't do it right. Kisses ended up being too soft, too lippy and slack. Only James could give it to him right. But he had long ago learnt how to play nice. Sirius lifted Lily off the ground and wrapped her legs around his waist. She smelt so good. Very different from James, but it's true that he hadn't been with someone so soft in a while. Sirius slammed Lily against the wall, right in between framed pictures of her and James on their wedding day. He was digging his fingers into Lily's ass whilst she moaned at his ministrations to her neck. Then he lifted her up even higher and started sucking her nipples through her thin blouse. She wasn't wearing a bra. Lily couldn't believe that some clothed foreplay could get her so wet. She felt like Sirius was going to devour her.

"Let me eat you out."

Oh yes, please. Without waiting for an answer, Sirius carried Lily into hers and James's bedroom and threw her onto the mattress, not unlike how James always did to him. Sirius had never thought about it from this perspective, but maybe him and Lily had a lot more in common than he'd originally thought. He shoved her dress up to hook her behind the neck, effectively binding her body into a curve, and ripped the fabric of her panties. Lily could do nothing but moan. Sirius descended on her clit and started sucking and nipping around and below it. James was very good at giving head, but the orgasms always ended up having a slow-build. This time, Lily came in under two minutes.

"Tell me what you want."

Lily didn't know what she wanted. Or she did but couldn't say it. Would Sirius make her say it?

"Do you want me inside you? Do you want me to fuck you on the bed you and James sleep on? You want a rough fuck, don't you? Again and again so that you'll feel me until next time when I turn up at your house to demand another go?" Lily was nodding her head frantically, knowing she'd say yes to anything in that moment. "Hey, Lils, can I fuck you raw?" Lily felt a new wave of slick drip down her thighs. She'd never been fucked raw. James always insisted on wearing a rubber; apparently because of some health scare imparted by Mr Potter Sr.

"Sirius, oh my god, we can't, I'm not on birth control."

That made Sirius pause. "And why not? I thought you said you and James weren't trying for a baby yet?" Lily was looking at anywhere but Sirius. She was hiding something. "Are you telling me that you were trying to get pregnant without telling him?"

"No! We always wear condoms, it wouldn't make a difference. I just thought, you know, that if a one in a million chance gave us a baby, then it would be meant to be. Please don't tell James.", she begged, pleadingly.

"Oh, sweet Lily, I won't. You wanna get knocked up so bad, don't you?" Sirius had slowly started fingering again, and her cunt tightened like a vice around his hand. "Maybe I can help you with that. James was your first, wasn't he? You don't even know what a raw cock feels like, do you?" Lily shamefully shook her head. She was so turned on by Sirius's words, by how wrong they were. She was completely under his spell. "That's okay, now I'm here. Our James has a few weird quirks, doesn't he? He doesn't have to know. We don't look that different, after all." Lily wasn't sure if she understood correctly what Sirius was implying. "Lily, do you want me to knock you up? Fuck a baby into you? I can do that, you know. I find it so sad that I'm wasting my cum every time I pump it into Remus. Not that it's a total waste, we both enjoy it so much, but inside you...we could make a little miracle."

Sirius stopped talking to gauge Lily's reaction. She was trembling, she looked like she was on the verge of breaking. He just needed to push a bit harder. "Would you like to see my cock? That's going to go inside you? Maybe that will sway you." He got up to drop his jeans, having gone commando underneath. People went crazy for that. He spotted the exact moment Lily was mentally cataloguing the differences with James's.

"Sirius, it's huge."

"Why, thank you. Do you want to touch it?" Lily approached him at the edge of the bed and wrapped her delicate hand around his hard cock. Without realising what she was doing, she leaned forward to catch a drop of pre-cum sliding down the underside. He tasted just like James.

"Ok, what if you don't wrap up, but you promise to pull out before you cum? I'm just not sure..."

Sirius could work with this. "Yeah, okay. That would be wonderful. Please lie down for me."

Lily went to settle herself against some pillows under her back, as she would've done with James. "On your front. Lift your ass."

Wow, okay, this was definitely what she wanted. Sirius landed a harsh smack against her left ass-cheek, but before she could process it, he rained down five more slaps in quick alternating succession. Lily was screaming by the last one.

"Beautiful. It's almost the colour of your hair." He smoothed his hands over her sore ass, slowly making his way towards her wet hole. "I could just fuck you like this, couldn't I? You don't even need lube, you're fucking drenched. Just slide in. Tell me, does James get you this wet?"

Lily was trembling harder than before. It was so wrong to talk about James right now, to compare the two, but everything Sirius was doing was so far superior to her husband, she couldn't stop the truth from spilling out of her lips when he started thrusting three fingers deep inside of her.

"No, never! You're so much better than my husband! Oh my god, Sirius, fuck me, fuck me now, get in me, please, I need you!"

Sirius didn't need to be told twice. He rubbed his cock against her pussy a few times to get himself slicked up. Then, without warning, he pushed forward until his hipbones were pressing against the hand prints he had left behind. Lily howled. It was the most intense thing she'd ever experienced. Without giving her time to adjust, Sirius started pumping in and out of her at a brutal pace, the same brutal pace of all those porn videos she'd always gotten herself off to. She could feel him hitting her cervix, she was so full, so stuffed with cock, so _fertile_.

"Can you feel me dripping inside your pussy? You could be getting pregnant just from this. What a dirty little slut, letting me fuck you raw on our first time together." His right hand was bruising her waist in a vice grip, and his left had gathered her hair into a leash with which he slid her back and forth onto his cock. Lily was in heaven. "Good wives don't just accept the first good dicking they can find whilst their husbands are working hard to provide for them." Lily had started crying, but her cunt was throbbing with blood and she never wanted Sirius to stop. For her slutty body to get knocked up.

All of a sudden, Sirius pulled out.

"No!" Lily tried to push back onto his cock, but he stopped her with a hard punch to her cunt which sent her sprawled back onto the bed.

"Whores not on birth control don't let themselves get creampied, remember?"

Lily needed him back inside her. She had never felt more alive, more submissive, more disgusting than when she was being fucked raw by her husband's best friend, her best friend's partner. She needed to be filled, she felt so fucking empty, she couldn't stand it, it hurt, her hole was fluttering trying to recapture that feeling.

"But if you changed your mind, baby, I wouldn't say no. All you gotta do is ask me for it." Sirius had started rubbing his cock onto Lily's red ass. "Look at all this baby-making seed, all wasted outside of you, going stale. If you don't decide in the next five seconds I'm going to cum on your ass and fuck off back to Remus without giving you what you need."

"No! Please don't waste it! Please." Lily had completely lost her mind to the need to be fucked full. _Sorry James, this just feels too good_, she thought before letting herself go completely."Sirius, I need you."

"What do you need, sweetheart? I want you to say it. Loud and clear." Sirius knew that he had won.

"I need your cum. I want you to fuck a baby in me."

Sirius pushed into her in one powerful thrust. He was now moving with the sole purpose of coming deep inside James's wife. "Yeah? That's what you want? You wanna have a baby with me? You want my seed? For the rest of your life you'll look at your child and remember the feeling of my cock inside your greedy cunt, breeding you."

"Yes, yes, yes, please I wanna get knocked up, Sirius, cum inside, please, I wanna have your baby!"

As promised, Sirius came deep inside her without wasting any drops. Lily fainted upon experiencing the strongest orgasm of her life.

Getting up, Sirius went to the bathroom to clean up. On his way back, he picked up his phone and texted James: "What should we call it?" James replied a few seconds later: "Can't wait to see you."

Sirius looked back down at Lily's sleeping figure. Maybe she was interesting after all. Or pathetic. He had yet to decide. Maybe next time he could give her her first anal.


	4. Grateful (James/Remus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prongs and Padfoot have set their sights on their most ambitious victim. How will they convince Moony, Sirius's devoted partner, to dom the shit out of James?
> 
> Warnings: emasculation, dehumanisation, bloodplay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit longer because I have strong feelings about Remus. I don't know what happened with this one, but don't read if you're squeamish. 
> 
> If you wanna know what James bottoming looks like, just watch some porn by Henrik Sommer. 
> 
> I know that Peter's absence is a glaring plot-hole (as if I'm valuing that in this fic), but for the sake of this universe, they all distanced themselves from him straight outta school cos he's scum.

Lily was seven months pregnant with Sirius's child. James was over the moon, ergo Sirius was over the moon. Lily had been quite worried that she'd have to get an abortion, but James had been smart enough to start having sex with her again a week after he'd made his best friend impregnate his wife. Like this, Lily could stay reassured that James would never find out. Overall, it was a win-win-win situation. 

Never one to stop upping his game, James decided it was time to make their next move. Remus and Sirius had had a beautiful wedding, so as to not let James and Lily outshine them, and they seemed to be even happier than before, having settled into a renewed domestic bliss. That's why now was perfect. The rough plan was for James to ask Remus for a one-night stand to solve his sexuality crisis. Sirius thought it would be a good idea to do it now, both because he and Remus were happier than ever before, and because James could say that he hadn't had sex in a few months due to Lily's pregnancy. Sirius loved his life with Remus and he didn't understand why he had to be so fucked in the head as to crave his partner's moral corruption, but the mere idea of escalating his and James's games to this level left him almost perpetually hard for the whole planning period. 

He encouraged James to start acting more flirtatious. After all, back when they were at school Remus wanted them both. He probably had never really stopped wanting James, who could? However, Sirius was missing the point. Remus's latent attraction was only half of the equation.

Originally, the main appeal for James had been sexual. But he soon realised that for Sirius it ran much deeper than that. After some questioning, he came to discover that Sirius held the secret hope that one day Remus's guilt could be transformed, together with Lily's, into an open polyamorous relationship in which everyone would confess their sins and be absolved. James found this to be not only unrealistic, but a direct threat to the web of lies he and Sirius had spent a decade spinning. On the other hand, James understood that Padfoot wouldn't be able to live in this fantasy for much longer. Yes, maybe for a few more years, but he could see that Sirius was falling in love with Remus more and more every day, and to secure everyone's future happiness, James Potter would make his best friend’s dream into reality. He wasn't one of the brightest wizards of his generation for nothing. He just had to tweak his strategy, come up with a new angle.

In the end, the solution turned out to have been there all along. James had been brooding over the sex-fuelled conversation he'd had with Sirius over their dynamics back at Hogwarts. Once they’d started looking after him at the full moon, which coincided with the beginning of puberty, Remus's esteem of his two friends had turned into exceedingly blatant infatuation. Suddenly, James and Sirius had been elevated to benevolent deities in his eyes. He was self-aware enough to realise that he probably shouldn't idealise his friends. He hated how they treated Snape and everyone they judged to be beneath them, but he also gained a sick pleasure in being the closest person alive to the myth that was JamesandSirius. He never built any illusion that he could ever make space for himself in that inner bubble, but just being able to live his life alongside theirs filled him with twisted pride. He would've forgiven them anything, had forgiven them everything. He was devoted to them both, which at some point turned into a desperation for submission bordering on sexual. They were his pack. Prongs and Padfoot in their animal forms protected him at his most vulnerable. James and Sirius risked imprisonment for him. Remus became unable to interact with them as just friends. Outwardly, he would be reserved and proper and the voice of reason. He would play the role that was required of him. But into every glance he directed at them, there was an unhealthy yearning. He would drop to his knees and swallow them whole at a snap of their fingers. He wanted to be used. He wanted to give back, to show them his eternal gratitude. And they were so hot, so good to him, so impossibly desirable. At various points, he wondered how he'd make it through adolescence intact.

Around fifth year, Remus's lust started spiralling out of control. Every night after the full moon, in Madam Pomfrey's infirmary, he touched himself to memories of playing with Prongs and Padfoot in the forest, to both the caresses and the clinical touches they inflicted upon him when inspecting his wounds in the morning. He looked forward to the little ritual they had created between them, hot chocolate and cuddling all day when he got back from the infirmary. He knew that if they ever found out, they'd be disgusted. That he got off on such wholesome friendship. He wanted them both so badly. Perhaps subconsciously, he wanted them to tame the Wolf. Needless to say, Remus was shocked when he noticed Sirius looking back. He'd wanted to be fucked sideways by both James and Sirius ever since he had discovered his prostate (thanks to a Muggle magazine the year before), but there was something softer about Sirius. He wanted to be torn apart by him, yes, for him and James to make him into their little pet and all sorts of other shameful daydreams, but he also fantasised about making Sirius feel precious and loved and safe. When confessed to, Remus just couldn't settle down into the knowledge that his feelings were reciprocated for months. He felt scarred, plain, and as sexual as a clothes stand. Although there are probably people in the world that are into that too. After months of dealing with Remus's insecurity, Sirius decided to convince him once and for all that there was no reluctance in his touches. _Do you seriously think that I'm the type of person to settle for mediocre? Only the best of the best for a Black. _One night, after putting up a silencing charm and hiding themselves behind closed curtains, Sirius made Remus sit against the headboard in his underwear. He proceeded to kneel back in the middle of the bed and fuck his hand till he came all over his flat stomach, never once averting his intense focus from Remus's body. _Do you see what you do to me? _Remus had to admit that there was no refuting that. The physical element of their relationship has been solid ever since.

Overall, as much as Remus might've been insecure about plenty of things, he liked himself. And somewhere along the way, he started seeing why Sirius liked him. Perhaps loved him. It was the competition that he could not stand. Sirius was deeply in love with James and probably had been since first year. Their friendship was like nothing Remus had ever witnessed, and it's only with the maturity of adulthood that he realised how anomalous it really was. They would've definitely been together if only James hadn't been straight. Maybe they would've felt pity for Remus and paid him a shred of attention too, he didn't need much. But as it was, because of James's stubborn heterosexuality, Remus was destined to be in a phoney relationship with a man that was madly in love with his straight best friend. No one could compete with James Potter. When Sirius asked to marry him, shortly after the Potters' wedding, Remus allowed himself the feeble hope that James becoming permanently unavailable had helped Sirius let go of the love of his life. That perhaps it had helped Sirius prioritise his and Remus's partnership and future marriage. But nothing changed. If anything, James and Sirius were spending more time than ever alone whilst their partners were at work, and the look on his lover's face whilst gazing at his best friend was as painfully tender as ever. Sirius would do anything for James, just like Remus imagined himself doing for the both of them; and this included leaving him. He lived in fear that one day James would realise he'd been in love with Sirius all along - beautiful, enticing, brilliant Sirius - and they'd run away together into the sunset. 

Which is why when aforementioned James Potter started flirting with him, Remus knew there was something deeply wrong with his head. He must be imagining things. He had a tragic predisposition towards paranoia, after all. At first, it was easy to convince himself that it was wishful thinking. (James had only gotten more irresistible in his early twenties, and he'd be lying to himself if he said that all fantasies of a threesome had vanished from his wanking sessions. He didn't indulge in it often because the idea that James and Sirius would ignore him in favour of finally basking in each other made him sick.) When Sirius sensed Remus's bewilderment, he told James it was time to up the ante. 

What had previously been limited to prolonged eye-contact and lingering touches morphed into prolonged eye-fucking and inappropriate touches. Whenever the four of them hung out, James always found a reason to sit next to Remus. Sirius and Lily had recently gotten closer, bonding over a whole myriad of hobbies they never realised they had in common, which often left him and James hidden from their notice. When they sat on the same side of a booth at the pub, James would tighten his long, capable fingers around his upper thigh whilst talking to him in the same honey-smooth tone of Remus's dreams. When they said goodbye, instead of the classic manly handshake and pat on the back, James started hugging him close to his long, toned chest (fuck, Remus wanted to lick every inch of it) and whispering goodbyes against the shell of his ear. Nine times out of ten, Remus got instantaneously hard. His latent attraction towards James had come back to hit him in full force, occupying almost as much time in a day as thoughts towards his actual husband. Sirius was everything he could ever have dreamed of. Besides, it's not like anything could actually happen. James had always been overly flirtatious with everyone, as he was an inherently narcissistic person. And how humiliating would it be to let him realise how much Remus was gagging for it to then be laughed at because it was all a joke. Remus would bear with it. And perhaps ask Sirius to fuck him just that much more violently, that much more lovingly. 

Once Remus was ripe for the picking, Sirius scheduled the big day into their calendar. He was going to go to a special training session in France for his healing speciality, leaving James and Remus back in London alone. Lily was so pregnant that she never left the house anymore, and was so irritable that she requested being left alone for most of the day. She appreciated how supportive her husband was being, but for the next couple months she just wanted to Netflix and chill in bed by herself with a mountain of takeaway. James visiting his second dearest friend wouldn't make her suspicious. And this is how James and Remus ended up sitting in his and Sirius's living room passing a fat joint between them. It had been a while. Adulting was so time-consuming. 

James had been flirting with him all night, bordering on unbearable. The last time he had gotten up to get a glass of water, he then plopped back down on the floor against the couch with his thigh overlapping Remus's. Otherwise he was behaving as normal, meaning Remus couldn't confront him about it. James had long ago mastered the skill of making others think that he had smoked as much as them, when in fact he was only the slightest bit buzzed. After a couple hours, he could see Remus eyeing up his body hungrily. There hadn't been this much tension between them ever since one morning after the full moon they woke up with their hard-ons pressing against each other. They never talked about it again, even though both definitely resuscitated the memory for some fun alone-time. 

"Hey, Rem. I, uh, I've been meaning to talk to you about something but it's kind of embarrassing, you need to promise not to laugh."

James was looking at him with such a sincere expression. When had this man ever been embarrassed about anything? 

"Of course, Prongs. You can tell me anything." Remus didn't know how to contain his trepidation for being trusted as James's confidant. Boyhood crushes die hard.

"Well, you see, Remy," James said swinging his arm around his friend's shoulders, "I need your help with something. I would ask Sirius, but you see, he's like a brother to me, so even though you're both my best friends, it would be awkward. Besides, I've always had a bit of a thing for you." James wasn't lying about the last bit. Remus had always been his most forbidden fantasy. Sirius was so good to him for letting him take this as well. 

"A thing?" Remus didn't know what muscles to move on his face to create any effect whatsoever.

"Yeah, you see, I've always had this doubt. About whether I was really straight. Of course I love Lily, in all ways, and I don't want to hurt her. She's your best friend, I'm sure you understand. But ever since she got pregnant, we've stopped having sex. And uh, this is a bit personal, but I kinda need to fuck every single day. And it's been months, Moony, and now that I've just been wanking, all of these thoughts just won't leave me alone." 

Was Remus hallucinating? James Potter was having a gay crisis? He could hardly concentrate with James's breath warming up his neck. 

"That's okay, James. Even if you're not straight, that doesn't invalidate your marriage to Lily. It's okay to be bisexual."

"Yeah, but I don't know if I'm just a hypersexual person, that's the thing. So I got thinking. And you might think I'm crazy, but I just can't take it anymore. I thought that maybe you could help me confirm or deny. You know, once and for all."

Remus couldn't move from the shock. He wanted to throw James off and yell at the top of his lungs how this is not their reality. And even if Mr Straight Wet Dream was looking for cock, surely Sirius was the obvious answer. And yet, here James was, asking for Remus. 

"You want to fuck me?!" 

"No, I want _you _to fuck _me_. Otherwise what would be the point? I've been stretching myself, I've thought about it so much Rem, I really fucking want it. Please. For your bestest friend." James didn't particularly feel the need to execute a seamless seduction. Remus was looking so lust-addled already, sky-high from all the weed, instinct-driven. He knew he would win, as always. 

"James, I can't. I'm not denying that...I'm attracted to you. I know you know, I know you saw me looking in school. But I can't do that to Sirius and Lily. What if they found out?"

"And who would tell them? This is between me and you. It's always been just between me and you. I kind of regret that we didn't do anything when we were teenagers. You know, before we all committed to stuff. It could've just been our thing. I thought, maybe now, we could have it, even if just for one night."

James seemed so sincere, like he'd been thinking about this for a long time. God, Remus had too. But it was meant to remain a fantasy. All he needed was Sirius. He couldn't get greedy, he wasn't the kind of person who could afford being greedy. How could he deserve both James and Sirius? Another part of his brain was feeling a deep sense of reassurance. James didn't know how Sirius felt towards him, and Sirius would never dare risk their friendship. And James's first choice in man to sleep with was none other than himself. Maybe all his fears about Sirius leaving him for James were unfounded. And this was his chance to make sure that Sirius and James never had that world-shattering conversation. He could kill two birds with one stone: fuck demi-God James Potter, and wreck him with guilt so that he'd never broach the subject with his husband.

Little did he know how predicable he was being, how his thought process had been carefully guided by the two people he trusted most in the whole wide world. 

"No one can find out," Remus croaked.

"Of course not. It'll be our dirty little secret." James went in for their first kiss. He didn't realise how cathartic it would feel, for how long he'd wanted it.

Kissing each other was nothing like kissing Sirius. Plus, James was in the mood to be dominated, and Remus was on an ego high. He flipped them so that he was straddling James, pinning his wrists to the sofa. After a few seconds, he seemed to realise what he'd done and pulled back, looking like a deer in the headlights.

"Remus. I need you to understand that you have me exactly where I want to be. If I wanted to top, I'd go to Lily. I know you can be aggressive. You're taller than me, perhaps stronger, and I can feel your monster cock digging into my stomach. So, do you think you have it in you to fuck me like I deserve?"

James Potter deserved _everything._

In one swift motion, Remus lifted James off the ground and spread him across the sofa before setting himself between his legs, effectively pinning him down with all his weight. 

"You wanna be thrown around?"

"I'd only trust you for this."

Remus's brain flatlined. All the impulses he'd been suppressing, all the submission he gifted Sirius day in day out. All of it dissipated into thin air. When he'd been young and frail and touch-starved, he'd wanted James and Sirius to take, take, and take. But this was so much better. James Potter wanted to be beneath him, to be his bitch. Sirius was the only person Remus had ever had sex with, meaning Remus had never topped. The power trip was really getting to his head; he could feel himself losing control for the first time in his human life. 

"Ok. If I do anything you don't like, you tell me. If not, just let me take care of you."

"_Please. I trust you with my life._" James sounded wrecked already. He felt wrecked. Who knew that Remus could make him feel so submissive, could make him want to be fucked and ruined by him so bad? 

The violence that occurred between them here on out could have only happened so lovingly between two Marauders.

"Have you ever sucked cock?" Remus asked. 

"I've never done anything with another man."

"Time to teach you a lesson, then."

With James immobile beneath him, Remus undid his fly and pulled out his nine inch cock without ever breaking eye-contact. James, for his part, was transfixed. It was bigger than either his or Sirius’s. He felt almost emasculated. It was such a new feeling. He wanted to choke on it. 

"Give it to me."

Remus moved up the sofa until his aching cock was centimetres away from James’s face. First, he would mark him. His tip was already leaking. Taking himself in hand, he wiped hot skin across James's plump lips. Without being asked, those lips parted and the heavy weight rested menacingly against his tongue. James gave a tentative swirl. Remus's taste was heady, so manly, it made him forget he'd ever had a dick, the only cock in the room was the one making way into his mouth. 

"Is this how you thought it would be?" asked Remus, slightly panting. This situation was beyond his wildest dreams.

James let Remus's cock slide out to rest against his cheek. "Remus. I need you to fuck my face. I actually don't have a gag reflex. Please, I want it. Don't hold back."

Remus didn't need to be told twice. Grabbing a fistful of James's soft, curly hair, he pushed deep inside his friend’s mouth until it was making his throat bulge out. "Breathe through your nose. Keep calm. I kinda want to dislocate your jaw and snap it back in place over and over until it breaks." Remus had always suppressed all of his darkest urges. Sirius was someone to be cherished. He'd suffered so much abuse at the hands of his parents. He'd planned to die without ever doing anything about it. Perhaps it was the Wolf breaking through. But one look into James's eyes confirmed that they were both exactly where they wanted to be. He pulled out and slammed in-in-in until James stopped breathing. Then he fucked in and out for a few minutes, only to choke him again, and repeat. James couldn't talk, couldn't breathe, just had to take this enormous cock, let Remus use his skull like the fuckhole he'd been reduced to. 

After a small eternity, Remus pulled out, slapping his cock hard over James's eyes, his cheeks, wetting his whole face through. When he got up to stare down at his work, he felt a frisson of raw power run through his being.

"Strip." 

James scrambled to obey. Once naked, he stood still for Remus to inspect. He knew he was pleasing. 

Remus stood silhouetted against the moonlight seeping through the balcony window, looming a few inches over him. He advanced slowly, like a confident predator, backing James's naked body against the wall.

"You look good enough to eat."

"Bite me," James couldn't help but retort, causing a bemused smirk on Remus's stretched lips. His teeth looked like they were made to tear through flesh. James shivered. 

"Turn, hands up against the wall." James had planned to enact his usual modus operandi, fucking in the marital bed. But this was deliciously depraved too. 

With James facing the wall, Remus carelessly kicked his legs apart, as if he was adjusting the position of an object. James wanted to kiss him.

"This is going to hurt."

"Are you not going to eat me out? I was so looking forward to that part."

Pinning James's neck to the wall with one hand, Remus smacked James's arse so hard the sound reverberated throughout the whole flat. 

"I should've known that deep down you were a slut." He started roughly kneading at the curve of James's arse, leaving dark fingerprints behind. James was struggling not to keen. "I used to watch you in the showers. I was so innocent, I just imagined squeezing my cock right here, in between your arse-cheeks, till I came all over them, marking you with my cum. Turns out I shouldn't have been so humble." He rained down more violent smacks, making the abused flesh wobble. "Hmm, white looks better against red." Kneeling on the floor and releasing James's neck (not that he would ever move without permission), Remus grabbed a fistful of arse in each hand and pulled apart as hard as he could. "Now look at that." Sirius had last fucked James three months ago, so that his hole would look virginal. "You've played with yourself, did you say?"

The sweet pain and Remus's thick voice were washing over James like a tidal-wave. For a moment, he forgot he could speak. He'd fallen into this new inhuman existence all too easily. He wanted to be an aesthetic object for Remus's sexual pleasure. 

"Yeah. The first time I fingered myself I was sixteen. The summer after your growth spurt. When I saw you in the showers, that's when I started obsessing over your huge cock. Thank you for letting me have it," he choked out. Sirius had gotten to his arse one year earlier, but strictly speaking, James was telling the truth.

"You've been so good, waiting all these years. Don't worry, you'll get it. Consider this the last kind thing I'll do for you." 

With another excruciating squeeze, _those hands were so big, so warm, they could span his whole waist_, Remus licked a wide, hot stripe across James's hole. Taking his time, only licking upwards, he repeated the motion over and over until James's knees were about to give out. His whole weight was being held up by Remus's hands on his arse. He was pushing James so far up the wall that he ended up on his tiptoes. Then, without warning, he pushed his tongue inside James's guts. Up and up until James couldn't believe Remus's organ was caressing his own, angry pink meeting visceral pink. Remus wasn't moving. He just stood still for a while, his nose pressed up against James's sweaty hairs, until his tongue ached from the contractions around him. Still without moving, he slid a finger alongside it. After another minute, a second finger. James hadn't known you could carve a hole inside another person so coldly, calmly, unforgivingly. In that moment, he felt himself fall a little in love. He wondered if Sirius had ever experienced this. Perhaps he'd been cruel in imposing on Sirius to only top in his relationship with his husband. He needed Sirius to subject himself to Remus like this too. 

Sliding out his tongue, latching his mouth to James's outside flesh, careful never to bite down, Remus smoothly pushed in two more spit-slicked fingers. All you could hear in the room was their harboured breathing. He stood up at full height, his left hand resuming its place on James's nape. 

"Fuck yourself back onto them. Prove to me that you want it."

Without hesitation, planting his feet firmly on the ground, James started ruthlessly impaling himself on four thick fingers. Only Sirius had ever made him feel this wickedly good. His arse burning, he felt flayed open wide. 

"Remus, fuck me, please. Open me up on your big, fat cock. I want it, I want it, I want it!" James's movements had gotten clumsy, desperate, disgustingly arousing. "Please, I wanna be your fuckhole for the night, please use me, fuck me through the wall, fuck, fuck!" He knew that he would cum untouched.

Licking James's tears from his lashes, he painstakingly guided his cock into James's body. Being inside someone was better than Remus could ever have imagined, but it also just felt so natural, so right. Like fucking was what his body was made for. Without slowing down or speeding up, penetrating his friend exactly as he set out to do, he didn't stop until he was fully enveloped by James's lower fuckhole. "Is this what you wanted?" James was beyond words, but this feeling of completeness caused him to start sobbing into his hands, shivers coursing through his body uncontrollably. "You're beautiful, Prongs." The use of the nickname just highlighted how long in the making this climax had been, making them both wonder about paths not taken. But their bodies existed only in the present. "You're going to take it all for me. I don't care if you cry, if you beg, if you stop breathing. I'm going to use you up against this wall and I will tear you from the inside out until I cum into your bleeding hole, and there's nothing you can do to stop me because you _asked for it_."

"Please. Fuck me _raw_."

Both suddenly became aware that neither had given a single thought to using protection. Their animal instincts had taken over. The added depravity of what they were doing to their spouses, to each other, made the space around them boil over in flames. 

Remus started sadistically hurting James with his cock, slamming his whole body up against the wall with every trust, bruising each of his bones. He was too big, the prep wasn't enough, he would tear, he would _tear_, and Remus was going to make him lick it all up. 

"Who would've thought that the Headboy was such a painslut?" Remus spanned James's waist with his hands and dug his nails in deep, creating ten crescent moon-shaped marks across his milky torso. "Wish I could get in here too. Fuck multiple holes into you, your whole body a receptacle for my cock." James moaned loudly, mouth wide open dripping saliva onto the floor. "Look at you, I haven't even touched your clit and you're dripping wet, soaking up the carpet. You're filthy, James. A dirty hole for a dark creature to mate with." James had never known that this particular brand of humiliation would push all the buttons of his obnoxious superiority complex. He had become just a set of holes for Remus - he didn't even want a little clit, he wanted to be a castrated cocksleeve who couldn't derive any pleasure except through its prostate, which Remus was pounding on every thrust. 

Pulling James back from the wall, Remus spun them round so that his own back was against it and pushed them both to the floor. They sat in their own puddle of slick. He turned James to face him, and without saying a word, grip still bruising tight around his waist, slid the newly-transformed hole onto his angry red cock. On James's pained gasp for breath, he fucked his tongue into James's upper hole. Penetrated from both sides, loose-limbed like a doll, James felt deliciously dehumanised. Remus's organs were masturbating themselves inside the tight heat of his velvety flesh. James erupted, and ceased to exist. 

Taking selfish pleasure from his best friend's semi-unconscious body, Remus came inside something for the first time in his life. Fuck being grateful. _He deserved the world_. 

For many long minutes, the universe had been reduced to the satisfied pulsation of Remus's cock inside James's arse, soaked in blood and cum. Neither was ready to speak. Bodily lifting James off him and laying him spread out across the floor, Remus crawled up his friend's still body to insert his pink-slicked cock into James's slack jaw. His lifeless eyes sharpened onto Remus's. Without missing a beat, he sucked blood and cum down his dry throat. He cleaned that glorious cock till it was only shiny with spit. 

James was ready to pass out. To be honest, if Remus wanted to do something else to him, he could help himself. James was floating on a cloud of fulfilment and satisfaction that he had heretofore believed his brain chemistry incapable of. Just as he was about to say goodnight, Remus crawled off him and manhandled his knees to his chest, inspecting his destruction. Then, he placed his lips around James's puffy, abused hole and sucked _hard_. James felt his insides being emptied, as if all fluids in his body could be drained until all Sirius would find on his living room floor upon his return would be a mass of skin and bones sacrificed for the noble cause of milking Remus's cock dry. 

Lifting James into his arms, cradling this beautifully sculpted body, Remus cupped the back of his friend's head and forced the rest of the blood and cum into the mouthhole. Now everything was clean. Remus was cleansed of all insecurities, of all fears. This was his rebirth. 

"End me." James implored. He felt like he'd been absolved of the weight of the world. As a final gift, Remus would give him sleep. 

As calmly as with the whole of his consumption of James, Remus pushed his hand through the cum his friend had shot onto his own stomach, and slapped James hard enough to knock him unconscious. White really did look good on red. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might publish an alternative version of this chapter in which James recounts everything to Sirius.


	5. Getting Off On Grief (James/Remus)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius receives news that his mother has finally died, and must attend the funeral and take charge of 12 Grimmauld Place. James and Remus get left there alone on cleaning duty, but they get quite distracted along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is okay with it, but these two are literally getting off on the fact that they're about to have some dirtybadwrong sex whilst the person they love more than anything is in agony. It's difficult to gauge how unusual this sexual fantasy is, but I'm fairly sure it's WEIRD, so beware if grief triggers you. Come back next time for more normal porn. 
> 
> Still not beta'd.
> 
> (Stay tuned for part 3 of this series, Uncle Alphard)
> 
> Also, apologies if any of you saw the beginning of a draft I posted by mistake a few days ago, I didn't even realise.

Sirius had received a letter from Regulus inviting him to their mother’s funeral. Orion had died the previous winter. He was angry that he wasn’t sad and sad that it made him angry. Apparently, right before her death, his mother had had a change of heart about her disgrace of a son, and he and Regulus would have to meet with a lawyer to figure out how to divide the inheritance. Sirius was feeling all sorts of conflicted, and the whole situation was triggering childhood memories of abuse and madness. His only hope was that he’d be able to start talking to Regulus again, brother to brother. He had never stopped loving him dearly, associating him with a feeling of safety when they were still allowed to sleep together as children. The few times they’d seen each other in their adult life, his little brother still looked unhappy, but there was a sort of ethereal beauty about him, a person hidden behind his grey eyes that Sirius wished to get to know. Maybe saying goodbye to their mother together would enable the catharsis they both needed to be free.

And this is how Sirius, Remus, and James ended up at 12 Grimmauld Place on a Saturday afternoon. After James’s first time with Remus, the pair had gotten utterly addicted to each other, and after some long talks with James about what they wanted to do, they decided that Remus was worthy of the truth. And not only worthy, but suited to it. When the three had all sat down with a bottle of firewhiskey in each man’s lap on the same living room carpet James and Remus had fucked on for the first time, Sirius felt nauseous from anxiety. It was very difficult for him to express it, but throughout their years together he had realised that he couldn’t live without Remus. James would never leave him, but his husband could easily pack his bags and run far far away from this sham of a life. Said husband was also feeling like he wanted to rip his skin off, as James had forewarned him that they had to have a serious chat, which is when he realised his power game was up. And it was, just not in the way that he envisioned.

Once everyone had been suitably alcoholised, James took a deep breath and shot out the truth at the speed of light, panting by the time he finished without interruptions. He explained everything, from his and Sirius’s relationship since first year, Sirius’s tryst with Lily, his own seduction of Remus, all the lies and the cheating and the games they liked playing. He also talked about how Sirius had only ever not used protection with himself and Lily, about their love for him, their decision to invite him in so that they could be together forever, as selfish and childish as that may be.

At Remus’s look of pure shock, Sirius was ready to apparate the fuck away from there. The tentative hope that they might be able to have both the moon and the stars was shattering before his eyes. Which is when Remus started laughing. And laughing. He just couldn’t stop. Tears started gathering at his eyes, and James was relieved that he was too nervous to get hard at the shine. He risked a silent exchange with Sirius through glances, but neither knew how to interpret the outburst. A tense eternity later, once Remus had calmed down and was holding his stomach through the stitches, he just said: “Ok.”

“What the fuck do you mean, okay?” Sirius exclaimed. “Did you even understand what James said?”

“Trust me, Padfoot, I understand perfectly well. But believe it or not, the truth is a lot better than my own imagination. Also, wasn’t the whole point that I also cheated on you with James? And did you ever wonder why?”

Sirius was utterly perplexed. “Why? Why, because you wanted him. So what? It’s not as bad as what I did to you.”

“But do you believe that I still loved you whilst I was doing it?”

“Yes, I know that you love me, I’ve always known, which should make this so much worse for you!”

“You know, Sirius, I actually believe you love me back more now than I did before. You see, I’ve always known you were in love with James, and I thought that the only reason why you couldn’t be together was because James was straight. I’ve been petrified by the fear that one day James would realise that you two were meant to be together, and suddenly I, your reserve choice, would just be left behind in the dust. But now that I’ve heard the most crazy fucking explanation to everything? It all makes so much sense, and I’ve got something to blackmail you with. I’m sure James would quite like to keep Lily and…the child? I will think about the bit of the story involving her in my own time, maybe tomorrow, because I am still reeling from this.” Remus knew that he was rambling, but he felt on the cusp of the beginning of his new life, if only he could make everyone understand. “So, in a way, I’m now more confident that I’ll get to keep you than I’ve ever been before. Do you see?”

James and Sirius saw, but they couldn’t believe that they really could have their cake and eat it. What kind of universe let two people like them get away with murder? They had been fostering a codependence between them all for over a decade, but who knew that it could fuck you up to this extent?

“Remus, I love you. You have to believe me. And I love James. And James loves you. And I’ve read and heard about this, and I think it’s possible, because I know you love James too. I admit that when we were in school I took you for granted. But I don’t wanna live without you, and I don’t want to lie to you anymore. So uhm, bloody hell, do you think you have it in you to forgive me?” Sirius looked so hopeful it was heartbreaking. Not that he deserved anything at all.

But JamesandSirius existed in a world where their willpower could transform reality, and Remus proceeded to give them both a chaste kiss on the lips, grab his keys, and say he was going to go for a walk. A tense twenty minutes later, during which Sirius panicked and despaired and James tried to reassure him, Remus came back into their flat and simply said: “Yeah, okay.”

Once Remus had had time to process everything, James and Sirius started explaining to him their favourite games. Their kinks and techniques. Remus took to it all like a duck to water, perhaps because of the pleasure to feeling included in a sort of cosmic joke. Turns out also that he had quite the depraved mind in his own right. They came up with new games. They discussed perhaps telling Lily, but it was just an idea, not a necessity like with Remus. Her knowing wasn’t necessary for a happy ending. She was perfectly content as things were, and seemingly fine knowing the identity of Harriet’s biological father. Maybe one day.

So, back again, this is how James and Remus ended up accompanying Sirius to his childhood home. The moment they arrived, Regulus asked Sirius if they could just leave immediately to talk and attend the procession. Neither had any interest in spending time in the haunted house of their nightmares, so James and Remus were given permission to wait there and start cleaning, as the brothers were going to sell the property as soon as their mother’s will was processed.

The moment they were left alone, they started snooping around. They had been tasked with removing all hexes throughout the house, which turned out to be a humongous task for two mere wizards. There was some dark, dark magic in there, and most of the rooms contained artefacts that even Remus couldn’t recognise. It also got annoying to keep silencing all the portraits cursing slurs at them. After working through the first floor for the whole morning, the pair stumbled upon what seemed to be Walburga’s private room.

The air felt as ominous as Sirius’s mother’s presence had been in life, but her definitive absence just made it look like the dusty room of a miserable old woman. There was a beautiful piano in the corner by a tall balcony window covered in ivy. Opposite, a vanity with various perfumes and many poisonous looking vials. In the corner, a wardrobe containing Walburga’s most expensive clothing. On the credenza, James and Remus were surprised to find pictures of Sirius and Regulus as children. So she was human after all. Not that they gave a shit, ever since Sirius told them about how she used to torture the brothers with unforgivables as children.

After a few moments of silently gazing at the faded pictures, James moved his hand to Remus’s lower back. “Hey, that chaise long in the corner looks comfy.” His tone of voice was conveying a completely different sentence.

Remus’s eyebrows entered hairline territory. “You what, now?”

“Oh, come on, Remy. We’re all alone in the most Ancient and Noble House of Black,” he said spitting the surname out like a slur, “and Sirius has been too stressed and upset to take care of me.” James was hugging Remus from behind, the two facing the balcony, sliding his hands beneath the jumper to cup his ribcage.

“You’re shameless, you know that? What would Sirius say if he knew we were fucking in his dead mother’s room whilst he was crying his heart out at her funeral?” Remus was parts disgusted and part overcome with that recurrent thrill he always felt whenever James and Sirius made his perversions sore to new heights.

“I already got permission from Pads, obviously. He said two of us might as well be having fun rather than all three being miserable.” James had spun Remus around so that their noses were now touching, the look in his eyes reminiscent of dares and challenges from days long past. Although, nowadays, the question was always _Do you think you can get it up to that?  
_“C’mon, Remy, I’ve kind of been hard ever since you started sweating three rooms ago. If you just let me get on my knees for you, I’m sure I can convince you.” Without waiting for acknowledgement, James lowered himself to the floor together with Remus’s trousers, aggressively running his tongue over the damp material of his briefs. No one had ever been able to resist him as they were towering over him, knowing what a gift his submission was.

“You want my cock whilst your best friend is with his Death Eater family with tears streaming down his face?” Remus’s tone betrayed that he was already game, and James just nodded eagerly staring up into his best friend’s husband’s eyes. “Get it wet, then.” Lowering his briefs and gripping the back of his head in a large hand, Remus started to face-fuck James’s mouth-hole with his usual calm domination. “That woman fucking hated him, didn’t she? Fuck, if she could see us now.” Remus’s voice sounded normal, but his hips were pistoning in and out of James’s hole mercilessly, and right before coming he pulled the mouth off of his cock, making spit and phlegm and acid reflux guzzle onto the floor and James’s lower face. Remus kicked him in the chin with his boot, sending him sprawling onto the floor. “Get up on all fours.” It would be comical how quickly and gracelessly James struggled to comply, but it just made Remus’s blood boil.

James was still stretched from when his friends had double-penetrated him a few days ago. For Remus, being allowed to be pressed up against Sirius’s cock, deep inside James’s hole, and kissing his husband passionately over his shoulder, made him feel like he’d finally _made_ it.

“Remy, c’mon!” James was practically writhing on the floor, spreading open his ass to be violated. Bending his knees and lifting his friend bodily off the floor by the shoulders, Remus pushed through any resistance in the sore, puffy tunnel and started masturbating himself inside of it. James’s cock was bobbing back and forth with the force of the thrusts, leaking pre-cum untouched. If anyone had peaked in at the scene, they would’ve seen two amoral animals mating on the floor.

“I want to see your face.” Pulling out carelessly, Remus pulled James up by the arm, knees bruised and wobbly, so that James could straddle him over the seat and let his mouth be plundered lovingly by his tongue. Both of them were almost smiling.

Here they were, soiling Walburga Black’s piano stool whilst Sirius was seeing his mother’s lifeless body being lowered into the ground. They were getting off on how much pain Sirius was feeling at the moment whilst they were fucking like animals in his dead mother’s room. Which was only made better by the fact that she had been abusive and homophobic, burning him off the family tapestry at fifteen, leaving Sirius with PTSD from childhood trauma. Sirius will be feeling fucked up by this for the rest of his life. And each year, on his mother’s death anniversary, when he’d be feeling anguished and self-destructive and storm out of the house to be alone and weep, Remus and James would be doing what they were doing right now, sucking tongue and loving pleasure into each other, whilst their partner was alone with grief-stricken flashbacks of this woman’s hatred for her children.

It was even better for them to pretend that they were cheating on Sirius, husband and best friend taking advantage of having alone time whilst Sirius was too incapacitated by sorrow to notice that they would jump on each other the moment he stepped foot out of the house, deriving twisted carnal pleasure from each other at his expense during his deepest moment of despair. With their tongues rubbing and sliding against, jaws slack and so open to share love, it soiled even further the memory of Sirius who right now was all alone in the world, the only people alive who truly loved him betraying him.

Remus’s back was against the closed lid of the piano, James propelling himself up and down on his cock whilst straddling Remus’s legs over the stool. “I wanna come on her clothes.” Lifting them both to approach the dead woman’s wardrobe, Remus grabbed the dress Walburga was wearing in the picture on the credenza, sat on the sofa holding her two sons. Sirius also had a copy of this picture stashed in between the sheets of his teenage diary, and he’d told them both how conflicting this memory was, but how soft and velvety her dress had felt whenever she wore it for parties.

Remus slid the dress haphazardly onto James, effectively binding him into a black velvet straight jacket, and replonked them both onto the piano stool. On second thought, he threw James onto the floor again, who confusedly watched him walk up to the credenza, rip the picture out of its frame; and planking back over James, entering him in one long stroke, bending his body in half, his feet framing his face. Once he’d resumed his fucking, he let James have a good look at the picture, then licked one long wet stripe from top to bottom. He forced James to do the same. Sirius’s face had started to smudge from the rough treatment.

“Fuck, Remus, cum inside me, please. Who cares about Sirius, I only want your cock, fuck me till he comes back, please!”

The moment the family picture was wrapped around James’s cock and Remus’s fist stroked him for a few seconds, James came all over it, painting it white.

Remus was still thrusting and panting, his grip on James’s hips bruising.

“C’mon Remus, cum inside me, kiss me, you know you want me more than Sirius, c’mon.” James swallowed Remus’s scream into his throat.

Now that the lusthigh was over, and a few waves of a wand had returned everything to its rightful place, the two started to feel quite sick at what they had done. They loved Sirius so much, and this fantasy went against everything they stood for. But that’s what made it feel _so good_, that it was wrong even for them. They couldn’t wait until Padfoot got home to love him even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you can think of anything, on this website or elsewhere, that does something similar to this chapter, please rec me.


	6. Uncle Siri (Sirius/girl!Harry)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harriet has recently turned 18. She’s been infatuated with her Uncle Sirius, her father’s best friend, ever since she was a kid. Now that she's old enough to play, it’s time to pay her favourite old man a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harriet calls Sirius "uncle" because in the family dynamic they have built, James and Sirius are pseudo-brothers because of how close they are. 
> 
> This is where you should temporarily turn your back on this fic if this kind of thing bothers you. Although in terms of the actual sex, Sirius is very gentle. 
> 
> Warnings: Harriet doesn’t know this, but Sirius is her biological father. This also means that she looks a bit different from what you are used to imagining, but you do what you want.
> 
> P.S. I am very unhappy with this chapter (just couldn't get fully into it) but I didn't want to stop here.

Harriet Potter, affectionately called Harri by friends and family, was a strong-willed child. With parents as doting as James and Lily, it couldn't have turned out any other way. She wasn't spoilt, as such, but she knew that all the adults in her life had a big soft spot for her. She loved her extended family, and she often felt like she'd been raised with four parents plus Theo as a younger sibling. As for looks, it could've been worse. She had hip-length, dark brown hair, which she often wore in space buns. She had the same thick glasses as her maternal grandma, and her heart-shaped lips were always painted in deep purple. She had recently started wearing chokers and collars, much to her parents' dismay, but she liked the heavy feeling on her pulse and the way they framed her neck. She tended to wear short-shorts and large band t-shirts that made onlookers think she wasn't even wearing panties. She owned six pairs of Dr. Martens and a weekly subscription to Kerrang! magazine. She knew that a lot of her self-expression came from trying to impress her godfather, from which she'd gained her music taste and dress sense, but it had never crossed her mind that the style was hereditary. 

She had just graduated from Hogwarts, and she decided to spend a few months at home before deciding what she wanted to do. Perhaps move into the muggle world. She didn't feel particularly special, or motivated, or intelligent, but she knew that she was loved, and her family would help her figure out what to do with her life. And what she wanted to do now that she was no longer jailbait was sit on her Uncle Siri's cock. She felt a bit bad about doing this to Uncle Remus, but she'd been harbouring this crush ever since she was a toddler, always wanting to sit in her godfather's lap, being bounced up and down and thrown into the air. Sirius had always treated her like his own daughter, and she didn't think she had daddy issues because James was an amazing father, but there was just something pulling her towards Sirius Black that she couldn't justify as familial affection.

The first time she'd ever masturbated, she had caught Remus and Sirius snogging on her porch at Christmas under the mistletoe. She'd been eleven. She didn't know what could be done about the feeling between her legs, but when she went back up to her room, she started humping her big dinosaur plushie, Sirius's birthday present from a few years ago, and ended up coming thinking about her uncle hugging and kissing her to sleep. 

As for Sirius, in his adulthood he'd acquired the skill of always being able to suss out when people had crushes on him, and he'd definitely caught his niece/daughter staring. When he mentioned it to James, the other man admitted that having raised the kid himself, their incestuous fantasies from before felt so much weirder and abnormal, which they eventually decided turned them on that much more. They did, however, decide that only Sirius was allowed to touch Harri. First of all, the kid only had eyes for her godfather and a completely platonic affection towards the man who raised her, and James felt the same way. One could argue that it was more wrong, in some ways, for Sirius to have an illicit affair with his biological daughter, but given that Harri didn't know about this, it would be healthier for the girl, who would eventually be able to move on from her childhood crush and have a normal life. This was just a game after all, and it was always preferable if nobody actually got hurt. 

Remus had noticed the way Harri idolised his husband, and as usual he wasn't surprised. There hadn't been a single person who had ever met Sirius Black and not lusted after him. Maybe their own child, and thank fuck for that. Their lives were already complicated as it was. Remus had spent the past ten years wondering if Sirius's interests extended to minors. Surely there was nothing as depraved as fucking your own underage daughter? And Remus was a suspicious person by nature. Every time Sirius played with Harri, or let her sit on his lap, or read her bedtime stories and kissed her goodnight, Remus kept a watchful eye. He wasn't sure what he would've done if his suspicions should've proven correct. There was definitely a certain -bond- between them, and Sirius did nothing to discourage the girl's infatuation, although his touches could always be explained away as innocent. It wasn't until Harriet's sixteenth birthday, when she finally hit her growth spurt and started dressing in a slutty-goth-meets-bubblegum-doll fashion that he saw Sirius looking back. (Small mercies for him and James not being sexually attracted to children.) Harri was totally feeding her uncle's ego in trying to look like a female version of him (oh God, if only she knew) and she had grown up to be really fucking cute. Looking at the way her long, bare legs splashed into the pool on a hot summer day reanimated some teenage fantasies of Remus from when Sirius had shaved his whole body and looked good enough to eat. What could he say, Sirius Black was the love of his life and here was a younger carbon copy that ended up making Remus nostalgic. 

When he eventually gathered the courage to ask James and Sirius about it, they both admitted that it had been in the planning for a while, but not until Harri turned eighteen. If she still wanted Sirius by then, the game was on. Remus realised that if it hadn't been for that eventful night many years ago, they would've just continued doing shite like this whilst he was fitfully oblivious, whilst now they were only too eager to share their plans with him and ask him for permission. That last part seemed more like of a formality, since they knew that Remus had never been able to say no to JamesandSirius, but in the end he realised that he didn't mind. As they had explained, it's not like Harri was in love with Sirius, and once she had gotten it out of her system, she would move out of the Potters' home and lead a good, wholesome life. 

Therefore, a week after Harri's birthday party, Sirius asked her to spend some time just the two of them as a late birthday present. They could see that horror movie they were both psyched for, eat at their favourite restaurant, and then she could spend the night at his watching cartoon reruns and eating an absurd amount of junk food. With Remus making himself scarce, and Lily thinking that this was Sirius's pure paternal instinct kicking in, and James having made Sirius promise to be gentle, the couple had the whole family's blessing. Sirius and Remus's own child was safely at Hogwarts living out their youth. No harm, no foul. 

* * *

Harri was freaking out. It was totally a date, wasn't it? Cinema, restaurant, followed by Netflix and Chill? No, she had to calm down, this was a man that was practically family taking her out for some alone time for her eighteenth birthday. But Uncle Sirius had been giving her looks recently, hadn't he? When she lifted her arms to stretch, the hem of her shirt racking up to her navel, her obscene shorts tucked into the curves of her ass and thighs, he had totally been checking her out, hadn't he? If he had any moral qualms about fucking a girl half his age, his best friend's daughter, Harri was going to make sure to be forward about it. She had waited all her life for Uncle Siri to take her virginity, and she wasn't her father's daughter if she couldn't figure out a way to make it happen. When Harriet Potter wanted something, she always got it. 

The little black dress she picked was frankly pornographic, and when she moved around too much, the dimples of her ass showed. To highlight her cleavage, she wore a transparent collar with a big metal ring, completed with makeup and platform heels of the same sparkly goldsilver. She wore a buttoned up leather coat to leave the house when Uncle Sirius came to pick her up on his bike, as she didn't want her parents to notice how slutty her outfit was. At school, she'd kind of kept a low profile. If only her classmates could see her now. As for under the dress, she debated for days with herself, wondering if she should wear a black leather g-string, so that maybe Uncle Siri could just pull the black string aside and fuck up into her. But that would be lying in a way, as she definitely wasn't that sexually confident, although she'd like to be. She'd been practising with her fingers and a couple of dildos she'd had delivered at a muggle corner shop. It was kind of embarrassing how much time and thought she'd invested in this, but there was no time to feel insecure.

As she stepped outside into the dusky air, she saw her godfather turning off the engine, stepping off his bike, and shaking his hair loose as the helmet came off. He was the epitome of every dirty little dream she'd ever had. His beauty was androgynous, and he was so powerful and reliable. He'd always been there for her, often being the first person she would turn to for advice. He had to be the one to take her virginity. 

Harriet, being only eighteen, had some far-fetched notions of how to flirt on a date, such as the arm-stretch, brushing hands as you walk, intense eye contact. But being of a somewhat impatient nature, and always having been clingy, nothing was really going to plan. At the cinema, he paid for all their snacks, but of course he did because it was her birthday. Sharing food in itself was too ordinary as Sirius and Remus came over for dinner at least twice a week. When there was a scary moment in the film, she flung her arms around her godfather, but he just patted her elbow and gave her a kiss on the forehead, so now she just felt like a loser for looking scared. At the restaurant, the age-difference was so glaring that all the staff just assumed they were father and daughter, so she still couldn't gauge his reaction. Even trying to feed him was met with his usual teasing, and she knew he would treat both her parents much the same way, so she couldn't spot anything unusual in his behaviour (if only she knew he'd been fucking everyone he behaved this way with). Okay, so they'd done all of this stuff before over the years, and although she felt charming and pretty, making him laugh and smirk in that way that made her pussy tingle, she also felt young and uncertain. Her father had told her that Sirius swung both ways, but maybe being with someone like Remus made her seem almost non-sexual in her inexperience? But weren't men supposed to like virgins? 

And despite all of these preoccupations and faffing with her posture and tone of voice and all other seductive devices, she was still having the most lovely time. Being with him just made her so giddy, constantly a dark shade on her high cheeks, and somewhere else too. As far as she was concerned, there was no better man than Sirius Black. And having a sleepover alone just the two of them was something they'd never done before. When she was little, her uncles would sometimes babysit her, but not often. And she could definitely be more cuddly on the sofa. By this point, she was floating on cloud nine thinking that even if nothing happened, she had had the best birthday ever. 

* * *

Sirius had been semi-hard for the past 6 hours. It was actually getting so painful that he contemplated rubbing one out in the cinema toilets. Seeing a young dolled-up version of himself, that tight body in that tight-tight dress, was just hitting all of his sweet spots. It even reminded him of how he used to flirt when he was her age. He'd been thinking for a while now about his first time with his daughter, and he knew that it would probably also be the last. It needed to be special. He loved her so much and never wanted to hurt her. He'd have to treat her unlike anyone else he'd ever had sex with. His and James's version of making love was hardly what Harri most likely wanted. And Sirius felt so sweet towards her. He'd make her feel so good.

As soon as they got back to his and Remus's flat, they both decided to get comfy in their pyjamas. Going to his room to change into some dark sweat pants and a band t-shirt (rolling up his sleeves to show off his arms), he fired off a text to his husband.

_We're home now. I think it's going to happen. _ _Will call you in the morning x_

Just as he was about to leave the room, he heard his phone beep.

_I still can't believe I'm letting you do this, we are going to hell_

Beep.

_Don't fuck it up_

With a grateful smile at his husband's existence, he quickly replied (_I love you, Remus._) and left for the living room. Only to find the most decadent of wet dreams kneeling over his DVD collection, ass up in the air. She was wearing what Sirius could only describe as boxers, striped white and baby pink, that ended just above the curves of her ass. As a top, she had a thin cotton crop, wide collar and short sleeves, that could only be pulled down to a couple of inches under her nipples. And said nipples could absolutely be seen poking through. The shamelessness was endearing, but also very hot. 

"Hey, Uncle Siri, what would you like to watch?" asked Harri, sitting back up on her heels. 

Her space buns had been released into two side ponytails, the better to rein her onto his cock with.

"Anything you want, baby. It's your special day, after all." Sirius had knowingly dropped his voice an octave lower, and the endearment made his goddaughter shiver. 

As they settled into the sofa, snacks on the table, to watch an old classic they'd both seen before, Harri decided to be bold and to use faux obliviousness as a weapon. With a contented smile and childish demeanour, she slotted her body against her godfather's, his arm around her shoulders, her bent leg resting on his hip. Like when she was little and would fall asleep in front of the TV with him waiting for her parents. Sirius, emboldened by the gesture, dropped his hand slightly so that it rested on her rising and falling chest, his other hand casually fingering the bowl of popcorn. 

For the first twenty minutes, neither made a move, just enjoying the intimacy of the moment. They did love each other very much, all sexual tension and perverted plans aside. Then, just as Harri moved her leg so that her knee was resting on Sirius's crotch, her father removed his arm from draping over her chest, just to lower it back round to rest on her hip, his fingertips now grazing the waistband of her shorts. A few more minutes of petting each other, and Sirius's erection became impossible to ignore.

"Uncle Siri?"

"Yes, love?" he replied, turning so their noses were almost touching.

"Do you think I'm pretty?" 

Fuck if that approach wasn't good enough a reminder of her age.

"Of course I do, baby" answered Sirius, slowly turning towards her so that their bodies satisfyingly slotted together. "I think you're lovely. Don't tell me you doubt that?"

"No, I don't really. I think I look fine. I was just wondering if you were attracted to me. You know, physically." Harriet herself couldn't tell on which side of insecure and forward she fell on by this point.

"Darling," sighed Sirius, "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. You really are lovely. In all ways."

They were now breathing in the same air, sucking it away and towards each other. 

"I want you to kiss me." It was barely a whisper, but it made Sirius's heart crack. 

Harri had kissed a few boys her age, but was always left dissatisfied by how she felt she was doing them a favour, or getting them excited by guiding the kiss. Here, even though Sirius had merely grabbed her body gently and was sensuously grinding his lips against hers, she felt all expectations and control evaporate to be replaced by a glowing feeling of being taken care of. 

"You'll tell me if you want me to stop, won't you?" asked Sirius, carefully breaking contact. 

Looking into his grey eyes, she felt herself falling all over again, and nodded her assent by slotting their thighs more tightly together and kissing his cheek as per their usual greeting since she was little. 

With a self-satisfied smirk which Sirius couldn't have contained upon pain of death, he settled them so his weight bore slightly down on her, licking her bottom lip to ask for access to her insides. After what felt like hours of kissing, they both noticed upon coming up for breath that her skimpy shirt had ridden up to fully expose her cute, hard nipples, grazing up and down Sirius's own with every inhalation. With a firm kiss on the lips in warning, Sirius crawled down the sofa to take in a perfect mouthful of each breast. As expected, she tasted delicious. Swirling and twirling, he took care of both, so much smaller than her mother's but that much more perfect, until Harri was a whining and writhing mess. As he crawled even further downwards, he noticed that her boxers were wet. 

Before he could ask her if she wanted to continue, she grabbed a fistful of dark hair, the same shade as hers, and begged "Please, Uncle Siri."

In one swift move, he had lifted her hips high enough to slide the boxers down her legs, discarding them carelessly. Grabbing the back of her knees in his hands, he took his first taste of her pretty pink-shaven pussy. It was one of the best fucking things he'd ever tasted. Teasing her clit, licking under her labia and down to her perineum and back up, Harri had never known pleasure this intense. The pure enjoyment on her godfather's face was the perfect detail missing from all her wet dreams. Fuck, she was never going to a boy again, only men from now on. 

"Uncle Siri, will you? Please?" She was in such ecstasy she had started roughly fondling her small tits, hoping the pain would stop her from squirming too much. If it hadn't been from the hands holding up her legs, her thighs would've squashed Sirius's head.

"Will I what, baby girl?" This was almost better than James's first time. 

"Will you fuck me, Uncle Siri? I've practised for you."

"Have you, now? Did you finger yourself open till you came thinking of your godfather?" Harri desperately nodded with a pervasive blush, hoping to convey her longing. "See, I told you you were lovely. Just perfect for me to fuck into. Look at that, your pussy's trembling. You want me to fuck it, darling?"

"Please." Harri felt _empty_. 

"Okay, I'm just going to get what we need, okay? Be a good girl and go lie on my bed." Helping her up from the sofa, he quickly took advantage of her looseness to grope her arse tightly in both hands, leaving ten blood-deprived spots on her cheeks. "Go."

Obediently, Harri walked to Sirius and Remus's master bedroom like a new-born deer. She wasn't made to wait longer than the time it took her to lie down in the middle of the bed completely naked as the day she was born. It was only natural - Sirius had also seen her the day she was born. She was so lucky, her uncle was the bestest. 

With trepidation, Sirius reentered the room with condoms and lube in hand. Optimistically, he had brought a whole strip of them. But first, he was going to taste her more. Starting with her smooth tongue and gums, down to her neck and chest, her navel and protruding hipbones on which he nibbled a bit, he made his way down to her teenaged cunt. 

"Have you ever had someone else in here?" he asked, stroking the entrance to her hole with his middle finger. 

"Was waiting for you."

"Oh, baby. Thank you. You won't regret it." Softly kissing her clit, he dug his finger all the way up towards her womb. Noticing how at ease she seemed, he immediately added another. 

In that moment, Harri was made out of liquid sunshine. Sirius was so good, taking such good care of her. It might have been stupid, but she felt special. And with good reason, given Sirius had never treated someone oh so gently before. On the other hand, she was less than half his age, and his farcical paternal instincts were going off like crazy. Suddenly feeling a surge of affection for his girl, he repositioned them so that he could plough her mouth with his tongue in time with the fingers in her cunt. She was so fucking responsive, making him feel rushes of heat coursing through his body in excitement. 

With a popping noise from breaking the suction, Harri distanced herself enough to grab hold of Sirius's cock and beg to wet it with her mouth. Without wasting time, Sirius got rid of his boxers and knelt to the side of Harri's head, so that the long, curved length could slide back and forth across her mouth and swirling tongue. Harri wasn't sure she liked the state, and wasn't too sure what she was supposed to do with it. She realised, now that she was less inebriated on pleasure, that she was grateful for Sirius not penetrating her throat with it, as she had a very bad gag reflex. Which he knew about, courtesy of many childhood accidents at the dinner table. 

Once they were both satisfied, Sirius combed her hair with his fingers to expose her pretty face and give her time to recompose. "Are you ready, darling? We can stop any time."

"No, please, Uncle Siri, take my virginity. I want you to."

"Well, who am I to deny an offering like you? I'll fuck your virginity right out of you." With a kiss to her forehead, cock in hand, he started gliding himself into his precious daughter. He felt the satisfaction of the most ridiculously long-term devious plan coming to fruition. 

With a pained gasp, Harri let Sirius into where she felt he belonged. When he paused to let her adjust to the intrusion, she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist and pulled herself onto the same cock that went into her mother eighteen years ago to make her. 

"Fuck me like you mean it."

Sirius almost slipped by saying that she was really James's daughter after all. "You feel so good, baby. Let me in deeper, that's it. I love you so much."

"I love you too, Uncle Siri, so much, been waiting for this, I've wanted you forever." Harri was almost sobbing in relief at finally getting what she wanted. 

"Me too, baby girl, me too."

With controlled and powerful thrusts, he brought them both to ecstasy. Their sounds flooded the room as if to drown them in the shame of what they were doing. In their love-making, they were both overcome by how right it felt and how important they were to each other, both making promises to themselves that sex wouldn't mess up their precious bond. 

Reaching underneath her, without saying anything, Harri removed the condom, throwing it on the floor, just as Sirius was pistoning forward. In shock, Sirius remained buried deep inside his baby, raw and leaking, overwhelmed with the sudden blissful sensation.

Feeling the end approaching, Sirius started using both hands to pleasure Harry's tits and cunt, revelling in the moans he was fucking out of her.

"Darling, I can't, what if you get pregnant?" Sirius almost started laughing at the possibility that Harri inherited the same kink as her mother. 

"It's okay, I'm on the pill, I promise. Please."

And how the fuck was he going to say no? Harri thought there was something really romantic about the notion of exchanging bodily fluids (once again, who knows where she got that from) and Sirius couldn't resist the temptation of taking the risk. Of Lily finding out, their child being cruelly disabled, of having a baby with his daughter which would also be her sister, and so on with the new child until someone rightfully castrated him and left him to bleed to death.

"Harri, my love, you feel too good, I won't last long."

Managing to come out of her pleasure-induced stupor, she grabbed Sirius's hair with both hands, bringing their foreheads together."Will you come inside me? Please?"

They'd find out soon enough, wouldn't they? 

A few more minutes of pleasure out of time and space and Sirius was burying his cum deep inside Harri, just how his perfect girl wanted, to be soaked in the filthy seed of her siblings that shall never be. 

Without pulling out, Sirius moved them so that they mirrored each other. Side to side, thirst quenched, they could resume their loving kissing from earlier. It wasn't as good as kissing James, but this was never meant to be _that_. It was just as important, but in a very different way. He wanted it, but he didn't need it like he needed James and Remus. He hoped that one day Harri would find her own reason to live. 

"Thank you. It was perfect." She was so heart-breakingly beautiful. Is this how Remus felt gazing at him when they were teenagers?

"No. Thank _you_. Your body is a gift, so is your love, and I'm honoured that you wanted to give it to me for the first time."

He was saying this so earnestly. She was so lucky to have him. "I know, Uncle Siri, don't worry. I know what I'm about. It's just that this has been such a dream come true, oh my god, to have you inside me. Fuck, I can feel your cum inside me. I'm just so happy. I'm so glad it was you."

"And I'm so happy you enjoyed it, baby. I felt like such a creep wanting you, but you need to know that regardless of this I will love you forever, and we are family. That will always come first."

"Yeah, I know. We're good." With a dimpley smile, she kissed the frown away from his face, effectively dissipating the mood to their usual comfort and familiarity.

Returning the goofy smile, pleased to know that they were on the same page, he affectionately ruffled her hair. "Let me get us cleaned up, kiddo."

Then, as Sirius exited the bathroom with wet towels: "Hey, do you think next time I could call you daddy?"

Maybe this plan of his had worked out a bit _too_ well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will feature James with the child who was raised by Sirius and Remus. After that, one or two chapters to wrap everything up, including a threesome with James/Sirius/Remus.
> 
> Please drop me a comment if you feel like, I'm all open for suggestions for the threesome or anything else, even extra chapters.
> 
> And let me know if you want me to tag anything.


	7. Cautious Submission (James/nb!Teddy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PART 1 OF 2 
> 
> Theo Lupin was perceived as a heart-warmingly sweet child. And they were. Just not in a way most people could really appreciate. But that's okay, Uncle Jamie will understand soon enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to non-binary Edward Lupin. The idea is that it went from Edward to Teddy to Theo, as I think it's a wonderful unisex name. Just go with it.
> 
> I have deliberately left Theo's age unspecified, but this happens after the previous chapter, so you could place it from late teens to early adulthood. Theo's train of thought is described from quite an early age, so just bear in mind that a child's thoughts about sex are being described.
> 
> Theo's bio-mum is still Sirius's cousin like in canon, mainly because it would be unreasonable to make Lily go through it twice. As usual, as with all the AU stuff I can't be bothered to explain because this is ultimately just porn with borrowed characters, see it as Tonks doing her favourite cousin a favour. Through IVF, obviously. Remus is so gay.
> 
> I got completely carried away with this chapter, the smut will be in part 2 of this story arc.

Theo Lupin was an unusually quiet and insecure child given that they came from a family of megalomaniacs. Sirius and Remus were the best parents a child could ever want, but Theo couldn’t help but feel defective. Everyone around them was beautiful, both the adults and their sort-of-sister Harri, and it was obvious that they lived their lives like beautiful people ought to: feeling entitled.

Perhaps, out of everyone, their father Remus was the least confident, and that made sense given that he was Theo’s biological father. Maybe feelings of inadequacy were genetic. As Theo grew up into a precociously perceptive child, they started realising that Remus saw Sirius as that much brighter of a shining star because he saw himself as a deformed creature of the night. That these feelings of inadequacy allowed him to love his husband even more.

The notion seemed unhealthily romantic.

It was obvious, since scurrying around on the playground, that Theo was attracted to alpha males. It was a weird mixture of envy and desire. Watching them exude confidence, beauty, even arrogance; it looked like it felt _so good_ to be them. Just existing in those bodies. They started thinking that being with someone like that would neutralise their own lacks and they could vicariously feel like one of these blessed creatures.

And who was more narcissistic, more entitled, more charming than dear Uncle Jamie?

Theo developed a peculiar interest in psychology, and kept thinking about what a relief it would be to fall into a codependent relationship, to have a benefactor to overpower all their needs. And far from being disturbed by their attraction to a man who was practically family, Theo started trying to figure out how they could make it work without Uncle Jamie even finding out.

The void which had to be filled was inside them, and the main characteristic of a codependent relationship was for Theo to pander to the someone's every need, whilst the other remained negligent and selfish, going from hot to cold to feed the pleasure of being occasionally praised. It was much safer to use Uncle Jamie for this, rather than someone else who would leave them emotionally scarred and seriously mistreat them. Theo was smart, and although inevitably fucked up, inclined towards self-preservation inasmuch as that was possible.

And so they started with little gestures to create the bond. Uncle Jamie, can I help you cook? Uncle Jamie, would you like a massage? Uncle Jamie, could I offer you a warm hole to fuck?

Well, maybe not the last one.

The desire to ask that one only emerged in the late stages of puberty, somewhat to Theo’s shock. The whole point of focusing on James was that he could feed their submissive needs without getting into anything messy. Perhaps they’d been consuming too much pornography or kink blogs to try and learn more about these mysterious desires. It was difficult to find material, even academic papers, that didn’t focus on sexual submission. One theory was that Theo had taken the word “emptiness” a bit too literally, and had now transmuted it into something uncomfortably physical.

The desire for all of James’s needs to be met promptly and satisfactorily grew and expanded to include everything, from providing chocolate for a sudden sugar craving, to drawing him hot baths, to giving him hugs for plain and simple affection. James had a pathological need to feel loved by everyone he met, and Theo’s empathy was ridiculously attuned to it.

As for the adults, only Remus had caught on. Theo, knowing how to survive in this world, had made sure that his preference for James would seem only slight. They did this by being impossibly helpful and sweet to everyone, and by offering favours that reeked of desperation only when he and James were completely alone. James himself seemed to have barely noticed given how accustomed he was to being adored.

It took a while for it to click for Remus given that Theo was so young. It wasn’t too different to how he felt about Sirius at that age, although he lacked all the titillating knowledge Theo was getting from the internet. If this had happened a few years ago, Remus would’ve beaten James into a pulp for the thought even potentially crossing his mind, and calmly explained to Theo that they had to get themselves to a nunnery. But ever since James had started occasionally subbing for him, he’d developed a whole new degree of respect for the man. James had always had a tendency to be negligent and cruel at the extreme heights of his narcissism, and was used to being forgiven for it. But ever since that life-changing evening when Remus’s aggression and dominance were released for the first time, James had learnt what it meant to be punished for bad behaviour.

_“It’s not nice to cheat on people, Prongs.” Remus held his neck in a vice grip against the wall, blood dripping from his knuckles from a previous punch. _

_“Rem, love, that’s enough,” tried Sirius from the other end of the room. _

_“Don’t you fucking speak to me, dog.” Sirius had been magically bound to the armchair, in full view of the show. _ _“It’s sad, isn’t it, that even when you break all the rules, you’re still too scared to ask for what you really want?” Remus had never sounded more cruel in his life, and he found that he liked it. _

_“What d'you mean?” panted James. The grip around his neck was more threatening than painful, yet that much more arousing. His hands had found Remus's forearms, and he could feel the veins wanting to break out of the skin. _

_“You think you can own your wife, and you can own Sirius, and walk around like you own the rest of world too. But what you really want is to be put in your place, and neither of them can do that for you. Who would’ve thought that all the Headboy had ever wanted was someone to overpower him.” _

_Behind them, Sirius was rockhard seeing his husband abuse his best friend. He felt guilty for underestimating Remus all these years, but especially for underestimating what compromises he’d be willing to make to keep Sirius. True love did exist after all. _

Remus remembered fondly how he’d ended up fucking James from behind, the almighty Potter kneeling on all fours with his wrists in one werewolf hand, and his mouth being shoved down onto his still-bound best friend’s cock. It took a special sort of mind to role-play the emotional outcome of an alternative universe in which evil Remus didn’t forgive them.

Anyway, the train of thought that Remus was trying to follow led him to a funny conclusion: now that James had grown into his submissive urges and truly understood what they entailed and what it took to satisfy them, any objections to a relationship between him and Theo seemed facetious. They were all going to be handpicked by Lucifer himself to serve in Hell, and much like with Sirius and Harri, Remus knew that James cared deeply for Theo and could be trusted.

James and Sirius were meant to be loved and shared by many, and sovereignty cannot be maintained without subjects. They needed it like they needed each other.

Not that Remus knew what that was like. All he’d ever really needed was Sirius.

* * *

After one too many glances his direction when serving James, Theo became convinced that Remus knew which dangerous game they were playing. But how could he? Surely it was so unusual that no one could put the pieces together? But this was their father, the smartest person they knew. And the only other person in the family who spent more time focusing on other people than himself.

It became apparent why Remus had given his tacit consent during one of their extended family dinners, when Theo overheard a conversation that was definitely not for their ears.

“Hey, Remy, wait. I need a favour.” Why were Uncle Jamie and Dad whispering in the upstairs corridor?

Theo had returned to their room to get a book to read in the garden, but the adults probably thought they were already outside.

“You always need something,” sighed Remus, although with a distinctly humorous note in his voice.

James sidled up to Remus until they were standing just a hair’s distance apart. From the keyhole of their room, Theo was focusing all their energy on breathing in and out quietly through their nose. Maybe it was just because they’d been best friends all their lives? Theo didn’t have many friends, but the ones they had were good ones, and there had never been any need to stand that close.

“Hey, don’t be like that. You help me, I help you.” The smile James was directing at their father would’ve made Theo fall to their knees.

“You know you need me more than I need you. I’d be happy not having to dirty my hands with you.”

Theo had never seen their father wear such a cruel expression. He had become unrecognisable, but so had Uncle Jamie, who suddenly wrapped his arms around Remus’s waist and rested his head on his flat chest.

“Moony, this is not the time to get me hard.” Their dad just snorted and rolled his eyes. “Actually, I was wondering if I could borrow Sirius,” continued James. “I’ve barely seen him alone these past couple months and I need him. I was wondering if I could have him for the weekend, pretty please?”

When had James Potter ever said "please"? Both Remus and Theo were befuddled.

“I didn’t know you were now asking for permission rather than forgiveness. Is this another game?”

“May-be.” James had lifted his head to look Remus in the eyes, and the contact was so intimate that Theo almost had to look away. “It’s more fair, isn’t it? And I think it’s fun if you act like our keeper. Plus, Sirius likes having your blessing.”

“I can’t fucking believe how generous I am,” sighed Remus again, although still bemused. "Fine, but you’re coming back Sunday evening and the two of you are spending the night with me.”

Standing on the tips of his toes, James pressed a sweet thank-you kiss on Remus’s lips. Theo barely managed to stop themselves from releasing a loud gasp.

As the two adults left to join Sirius, Lily, and Harri downstairs, Theo slid to the floor, back to the door. After a few jumbled false-starts, their brain managed to figure out the situation, at least in broad strokes. Although whether Lily knew or not was a mystery.

They were all fucking each other, weren’t they? God knows what the full story was, but this definitely explained why their dad didn’t criticise Theo’s dedication to Uncle Jamie. Theo had always thought that any sexual tension between his dad Sirius and Uncle Jamie was wishful thinking. But apparently Remus was willing to give Theo the same allowances he'd given himself and his two best friends. 

After all, their dad hated hypocritical people.

* * *

James and Sirius did indeed disappear for a weekend, and with this new knowledge in mind, Theo was flooded with memories of other times in which this had happened, but between all combinations of people. Was their family this fucked up and they were the only one kept in dark, the baby whose innocence needed to be preserved?

It’s true that Theo had purposely cultivated this image to project to the outside world, but that’s just because they didn’t think their desires were dirty or depraved. These urges didn’t have to have an impact on who they were as a person. It was just something they liked and wanted. Taking the first bite of their favourite food and digging their nails in deep as they orgasmed seemed like pretty much the same thing.

When they returned to Hogwarts for their final year, they spent a lot of time thinking about all that Uncle Jamie could teach them about dominance and submission. Dad had said it himself – Uncle Jamie was a very needy person, and Theo was more than willing to serve. It was now time to figure out whether a plan could be implemented. Objectively this time, and not just through their own desires (this was the big difference between Theo and the rest of the family).

First of all, did this need to be sexual? Ideally, yes.

Did the rules need to be explicitly laid out? Definitely. Theo couldn’t give all they had without being asked for everything and anything unconditionally.

Did it need to be secret? Yes oh my God. It was already too much that Remus seemed to suspect. They had to have this conversation alone with Uncle Jamie. Theo's vast shyness was real, but their desire to get the things they wanted was greater. 

They could only hope that if they couldn’t appeal to James’s libido, they could at least appeal to his narcissism. Even if he had never considered Theo in that way… which, well, they didn’t think they were pleasing to look at, their only grace being clear skin and a slim frame (and perhaps their colours were somewhat appealing). In any case, Uncle Jamie loved exerting power over people. He did it with his family, his colleagues, the public. Theo could allow themselves to hold onto some hope, and at worst they’d be rejected, but with enough blackmail material to keep James quiet.

* * *

And what did James think about Theo, you may ask? For the first time in his life, he felt guilty. It wasn’t too dissimilar to how he should’ve felt about pure-hearted fifteen-year-old Remus, but perhaps with adulthood he’d gained some empathy and awareness.

It just seemed so wrong to perv on someone who was clueless? Who trusted you to love them platonically. When it had been about Sirius and Harri, it was obvious that Harri wanted it just as bad, although youth and ignorance still made it wrong. But with Theo? It wasn’t the kid’s fault that his natural predisposition to being kind and helpful rubbed James in all the right ways.

God, what were they thinking, looking up at him like that with those ever-changing eyes? James was not a good man. There wasn’t a single nice thing in this world that he didn’t try to warp but he didn’t want this to happen. He’d spoken about it with Sirius briefly, and although surprised at his sudden morals, he also agreed that they had corrupted enough people and it was time to call it a life-time.

But Theo wouldn’t fucking stop. Every time they came back from the holidays, they paid so much attention to James, more than he’d received from either Sirius or Lily in years. Complete devotion was hard to maintain when your devotees knew you were a scumbag.

And, well. It was tooth-rottingly sweet when Theo was young, but now – on the cusp of adulthood – when they almost reached James’s height but made themselves seem so much smaller – with so many of Remus’s mannerisms at that age – oh c’mon, someone give him a break.

Maybe he should stop letting Theo massage his feet as Lily and Harri got dinner ready. He always got hard, and he didn’t think Theo knew what an erection was. It was unfathomable when they kept innocently doing all these things that from anyone else would’ve been a request for subservience.

Which is why, when Theo flooed in from Hogwarts during his day off to make that request, James had to first shake off the shock and reaffirm that his twisted worldview was the correct one after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always had a weird ratio of subscriptions to kudos on this fic, but especially of hits to kudos. I like to think I've gotten some of you to read my fic every single day for the past few months rather than the fic being shit XD
> 
> Come back for the next chapter to see what exactly Theo wants. This relationship dynamic ran away from me and I felt like dividing it up into two chapters would allow me to really dish it out.


	8. Uncle Jamie (James/nb!Teddy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo is finally going to get what they want. Or are they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fucking hell folks, sorry 'bout that hiatus. I didn't know I was going to have people waiting for new chapters, and I irresponsibly started posting. Thank you to those of you who will check the final chapters out. I have no idea when or how I will finish this series, but it'll happen one day, so maybe see you there. 
> 
> This may not be what you wanted, but it made sense for me to conclude the story arc this way. 
> 
> P.S. Read Chapter 7 if you want this to make some sense.

“Theo?! What the fuck are you doing here?”

“A shopkeeper in Hogsmeade always lets me use their floo when I ask.”

“Like fathers, like son,” laughed James, proudly. “Did you mean to come here or did you wanna go home?”

Taking a deep breath, Theo steeled their resolve: “I thought I could spend the day with you. Are we alone?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, Lily and Harri have gone over to see her awful family. It’s one of my rare days off, so I begged off sick. C’mere, don’t just stand there. Would you like to try some whisky? Muggle spirits are surprisingly strong.”

James was rambling, but only because there was something odd about the situation he couldn’t put his finger on. Theo was practically family, why was it weird if they were alone in the house without anyone knowing?

Trying, for once in their life, to _just fucking go for it_, Theo advanced meaningfully to sit down at James’s feet, the side of their body resting against the armchair, silently asking for the whisky to be poured into their mouth.

James looked around, feeling really lost, wondering if this was all some dirty little dream he was having whilst snoozing off in the living room. After taking a look at Theo’s hands and concluding they had no intention to motion towards the outheld glass, James brought the whisky towards the plump mouth with the one hand, the other circling around their head to tilt their chin upwards.

Theo forced themselves to let James move them like a ragdoll, just like they’d always wanted. The taste was strong, but not enough to grimace. As they licked out to catch a straying drop, the two made sudden eye contact.

James had to make some quick calculations: if this were anyone else, he’d have entered his Dom state of mind from the moment they’d put themselves at his feet. It had always come naturally to him, having grown up to take such reverence for granted. But this was the only person who had ever made him feel shame for his wants and needs. Then again, if Remus could hide in plain sight for so many years, then surely so could his child. And there was little objective doubt that the look in his beloved Theo’s eyes could be misconstrued as anything other than devotion.

Fuck it, it was time to go back to the James Potter Late Late Show.

“If you’re gonna resort to such naughty tricks, you might as well just tell me upfront what you want.”

_Finally_ they were talking about it. “I want what you want.”

“Not good enough,” he said sternly, tipping their chin further forward and resting the whisky onto the table. “Do you even know what you’re asking for, sweetheart?” he asked, softening his voice.

The glazed-over look suddenly disappeared from Theo’s eyes, understanding that they had to appear lucid to make intentions clear. “I do, Uncle Jamie. You know I’m not the kind to do something I haven’t absolutely thought through.”

Fever dream or not, James was about to utterly debauch this kid.

“Have you ever played with anyone else your age before?”

Theo blushed at their inexperience, but lying wouldn’t help anyone. “No, I’ve never done anything. I don’t really trust anyone my age.”

“Probably wise,” chuckled James. “So I wasn’t losing my mind after all– you were actually trying to seduce me all this time?”

“Err, not seduce exactly.” James had started combing his large hand through Theo’s bright hair, which would’ve been distracting had he combed harder. “I just want to do things for you.”

“What kind of things are we talking about, exactly? I wanna hear it from you first so that I’m not projecting.”

Selfish requests went against Theo’s nature, but this was the only way to make their dreams come true.

“I want to please you - for you to tell me what to do. I’ll do anything, I want you to _make_ me do anything you fancy, as silly or unnecessary as it may be.” James nodded encouragingly for them to continue, never stopping the combing of soft hair. “If there’s anything no one else will do for you, I will.”

“Do you want me to use you to get off?” asked James bluntly, suddenly tightening his grip.

“Please,” whimpered Theo.

“You’re a little masochist, aren’t you?” Who knew the question could be made to sound affectionate.

“If you ever wanted to let loose or anything, please take advantage.”

“I’m not sure I have much interest in making you my punching bag, but there are many other things we can do.” James paused thoughtfully, battling with the feeling that Theo was too young for what he was about to ask. “Does this include unpleasant things?” he asked, starting up the petting again.

“I’ll do anything,” they repeated with fervour.

“Theo, you’re too smart to not know what I’m asking.”

“Sorry.” This was not the time to be nervous. Uncle Jamie was actually taking them seriously, like a proper adult. “I have often…fantasised about you forcing me to do something solely for your pleasure, even if I hated it. I want to exist to please you.”

What a fucking punch in the chest, this kid was gonna be the death of him. “Come here.” In one swift movement, James made Theo straddle his lap.

“You ever want me to stop, you tell me. Especially if I get too mean for your tastes. I’m not a very nice person.”

“I know. Just be yourself, Uncle Jamie. I love you no matter what.”

Theo suddenly feared they’d overstepped, trying to make this deeper than it was. But something seemed to unlock behind James’s eyes, who pulled him tight to his chest to whisper: “Love you too, kiddo. You’re so sweet, letting me play with you.”

Theo was beaming. Love and energy were thrumming inside their ribcage and they felt so overwhelmed by the weight and heat of James around them they had to bunch their fists to not touch without permission.

“Let’s start slow, okay? Today is not our only chance. Plus, I’m a needy boy, plenty you can do for me.” Waiting for Theo to nod his assent, James added “Go make me a cup of tea, just how I like it.” On an afterthought, he asked “You don’t want me to say please and thank you, do you?”

“I’d really rather you didn’t.” And with a kiss to the cheek, Theo went to put the kettle on.

And so went by the precious hours of their private afternoon. A few commands, in a low and sensual voice, until a hug goodbye broke the spell.

That night Theo went home and slept like a baby. Turns out you _can_ fill the void after all.

* * *

It was a few weeks before they could be home alone again. For Theo, having to get rid of family to pursue their perversions was merely a nuisance, whilst the effort to plan this alone time served as an aphrodisiac to James. By the time he kissed his wife goodbye and got Theo to come over, he was straining visibly against his jeans.

“Good morning, sweetheart. Come on in.” James didn’t leave enough room for Theo to enter the house, forcing their tight stomach to rub up against his crotch. They could barely contain the urge to make a gun-in-your-pocket joke.

Out of everything they had told each other in the past couple of weeks, through texts and whispered conversations after dinner, this physiological reaction was what finally settled their nerves. James wanted what they had to offer.

“Strip.”

The firm command made Theo moan, and all bodily insecurities were temporarily wiped out. Knowing that they couldn’t do it in a particularly sexy way, they efficiently stripped without pausing until they stood naked in the middle of the living room.

Meanwhile, James was fully dressed; shirt, jacket, trousers, socks and shoes. They stood facing each other, the older man openly admiring the view. 

“Kneel.”

With a loud noise, their knees hit the ground. Like a knowledgeable animal tamer, James approached with a hand outstretched and searching eyes. Looming over the smaller person, a shielding expanse of shoulders and thighs that could crush skulls, Theo felt privileged for this attention.

Covering their rosy cheek with one large hand, James seemed almost lost in thought.

“Aren’t you lovely? So many things I want to do to you. So many things I want you to do to me. What sounds more appealing?”

“I’d rather do things for you. Make you feel good,” whispered Theo nuzzling into the hand.

“Such a sweet creature. In that case, I better get comfy.”

All of a sudden, James started to strip on the spot, his crotch mere inches from Theo’s face. Every pull of fabric, the removal of glasses, lithe muscles flexing and folding, nothing could’ve been more dissimilar to Theo undressing. The hard length was thick and curved and deliciously dripping.

The sense of inferiority only turned them on more.

James Potter, Uncle Jamie, their hero, was standing naked in the middle of the room, lean and masculine and threatening. “Get up and make me feel good,” he commanded. James was wickedly curious to see where Theo would take the vague command.

Chest to chest, Theo went to stand just a hair’s breath away, yet allowing James’s cock to smear precum on their hipbone. With unforeseen confidence, they ran their hands firmly through the chest hair of the man who had taught them how to swim all those years ago. Even then, Theo only did it for the pleased smile on James’s face when they succeeded. It was so fucking surreal, this _permission _to perform a sexual touch on someone who should’ve been completely off limits.

Without thinking about it too hard, following instinct for once in their life, their plush mouth enveloped a dark, pink nipple and sucked. James was hit so hard by the perversity of the gesture that his knees buckled.

Looking up from under long lashes, still suckling, Theo bit and moaned and licked at the taste and texture of salty skin. Once it started to taste more like them than James, they started moving towards the navel, performing the same ministrations. Only to then move to the defined abdominal muscles, the hip bones, following the snail trail to the sacred graal. As the flavour and odour got more intense, Theo made more desperate noises, taking large gulps of breath, unable to cope with the sensory overload, trying to focus on giving rather than taking.

It’s not that Theo wasn’t interested in the cock rubbing against their nose, but as far as they were concerned all of James’s body was to be savoured and worshipped with no bias or preference. They were on a journey of the senses, James’s pleased humming as a background. When they got to the tip, the taste of the juice hit them like a freight train, and they couldn’t help but whine and suck for dear life.

James had to dig his fingers into his own ass to not grab that head and fuck the shit out of its cavity. Theo looked so lost in his body, so utterly overcome by his perfection, James wanted to prolong the moment for as long as possible.

Once their uncle’s cock was utterly drenched in spit, they moved further down, which was a whole different ball game. The textured skin, the movement inside their mouth, it was like the best toy ever. To ease access, James widened his legs, which is when Theo started following that _something new_ like a scent hound. With no conception of what it meant or how it looked, of how wrong or taboo or significant such an action could be, they flipped direction and slid to the back, placing their hands over his on the sculpted cheeks and going to town on the new exhilarating flavour.

So this was James. This god among men who was letting them near, letting them kneel at his feet and focus their existence on his.

His baby was licking his hole like it contained the secrets of the universe. This teenager who had never known another’s body, who didn’t care for immorality or shame or appearances - only who they were to each other in the present moment. And fuck did it feel so _fucking_ good.

Almost out of nowhere, James grabbed the back of Theo’s head in a vice grip and was pushing to bury it inside him, and they came completely untouched. James followed not long after, fucking into his hand.

With a big lungful of breath, the teenager collapsed onto the floor in utter bliss, James lowering himself to take the kid into his arms.

“You made me feel so good, sweetheart. So, so good. Uncle Jamie’s so proud of you.”

The validation combined with a sentence they heard throughout their childhood, Theo fell asleep feeling more at peace than they ever thought possible.

* * *

And so went on their escapades. James couldn’t believe that every single thing he did with Theo was a first, whether kinky or vanilla. Sometimes he just kept them gently in his arms, making out for hours, knowing that he was the first to soil this sacred ground. He spent most of his days plotting new and creative things to do with someone who didn’t know anything.

It wasn’t about banal acts of fellatio or penetration. Theo’s main turn-ons were mental and James could easily pursue a blowjob elsewhere.

Sirius was bemused by the development and Remus grimly turned away his gaze when he happened to notice something he shouldn’t have. Theo became the happiest anyone had ever seen them, and the person themselves saw the whole thing as a successful bout of therapy. Pushing oneself outside the comfort zone, becoming in-tune with one’s body and desires, letting one’s existence be subsumed by another for a small window of time.

And so their play dates continued:

_“C’mon sweetheart, you wanna come, don’t you?” taunted James. _

_“It doesn’t matter, it’s okay if I don’t.”_

_“Yes, but I wanna see you rub yourself against my clothed leg like a dog in heat and see the pretty faces you’ll make as you fuck yourself raw. Won’t you show me what that looks like?”_

Or alternatively:

_“I said, fucking ride me harder!” commanded James, backhanding their thighs in a loud /smack/. _

_Theo had been going for what felt like hours, past their own orgasm, past their muscles burning, quiverin,g and their tendons straining against smooth skin. _

_James never would’ve been this demanding, not even with Sirius or indeed with anyone else who expressed such discomfort. But the pace Theo was setting was one of the most mind-blowing things he’d ever felt._

_“You like hurting for me, don’t you? You promised you’d make me feel good.”_

Theo thanked the universe every time James indulged them. The void had become a little less gaping. However, some doubts started creeping in.

All their life, it had always been so difficult getting his attention as crowds of people were vying for it - primarily their family. But now, because of the secrecy of their hobby, James’s focus was intense and single-minded. They started to understand that their fantasy of existing solely for their Master’s pleasure wasn’t quite the reality of the situation.

Everything James asked them to do was for his pleasure, but ultimately crafted more for Theo than for himself. They felt disappointed in themselves, for making James have to think of them, to not be mind-blowingly good enough to make James be utterly selfish and lose himself. This needed to be addressed.

On a rainy afternoon, after an intense objectification scene, Theo realised they hadn’t been able to fully let go due to the suspicion that this was more for their benefit than James’s.

“Uncle Jamie?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

They had formed a routine where after playing they would cuddle for as much time as they could steal, lazily making out till everything tingled. James had never known being soft was in his nature, but Theo had been bringing out the most curious instincts in him.

“You know you don’t have to do anything to make me happy, right?” asked Theo, turning to face James. “At least not directly.”

“I’m not sure I know what you mean,” replied James, puzzled.

“When you play with me. I don’t want you to play _with_ me, I want you to use me to play.”

James was quiet for a long moment, and Theo wasn’t sure if they’d said something wrong.

“I’m trying my best, sweetheart, but it doesn’t quite work that way. I know I’m a selfish bastard, but I do love you.”

“Of course you love me, you’ve known me all my life,” replied Theo, perplexed.

“Yes, there’s also that, as messed up as it is. But regardless of any automated bond I’m supposed to have formed with you, I’ve also gotten to truly know you over the past few months. You’ll understand this when you’re older, but something transforms when you acknowledge someone as an adult. I don’t dare to think what I would’ve done to you had we been the same age.” With an evasive sigh, James ruffled his hair, trying to figure out how to continue.

“Yes but Uncle Jamie, it’s not love I need. I don’t know if you noticed, but I have pretty loving family. I’ve got friends. I’m doing pretty okay on that front. I want you to be…something else. And I guess I wanted to give you something no one else could give you.”

“But you do Theo. You can’t even imagine. Between me and you,” whispered James in their ear, “I’m getting grey and old.”

“Don’t say it like that! You’re still so hot,” interrupted immediately Theo, making James laugh at the bluntness.

“Okay, yeah, I might still be attractive to some. Point is, no one has looked at me the way you do in a very long time. You make me feel so good just with the way you feel about me. It’s so plain on your face sometimes, I don’t know what do with myself. And I do like seeing you hurt yourself for me, and I love that you enjoy my selfishness. It’s, like, the best thing. But I don’t know if I can give you exactly what you want.”

“But you have been!” protested Theo, confused.

“You just said you don’t want me to play _with_ you. I don’t think that’s possible, though. I _see_ you, Theo. Now more than ever. And you’re the most empathetic person I know; even if I’m pretending like I don’t give a shit, you can tell anyway. So if you’re looking for a person who is actually unfeeling, you’re going to have to look elsewhere. Bearing in mind that someone like that may be a risk to your safety. It pains me to say, but if that’s what you need I’m not the person that’s gonna give it to you.”

Theo had never thought about it this way. No matter how grown up they’d felt recently, they were still so naïve, weren’t they?

“How does it work between you and dad, then?”

James stilled and looked like he was contemplating apparating away.

“Sorry, I know I’m not supposed to know.”

“Then how the fuck _do_ you know?”

“You’re not as subtle as you think. It’s just because Lily and Harri are clueless.”

“Right. Okay.”

And just as James had almost processed the revelation: “Plus, Dad knows about this.”

“About what?”

“Me, you – this.”

James’s mouth gaped in surprised. “And he hasn’t killed me?”

“I guess not. Does Papa know?”

“Why are you asking me?”

“Because I know you two have an affair.”

Why did James ever underestimate this kid?

“What’s between me and Sirius is not exactly an affair. I’ve been with him since before I got with Lily. We just never stopped. I’m sorry you found out how fucked up we all are.”

Theo was about to ask if Lily knew about it all, but preferred not to know. They didn’t want to get upset.

“It’s okay. I don’t mind. It’s all so weird I don’t think much of it anymore. But back to what we were saying… I thought Dad treated you really bad and meant it. Even if he must love you.”

James couldn’t help but giggle. “Oh my, that’s a complicated one. Remus and I have a bit of a special relationship. Even though he’s been one of my best friends since we were children, for many years Sirius and I were going behind his back, not _seeing_ him. Not like I see you now. Sirius is probably going to be angry I told you, but essentially your Dad loves his husband very much, and Sirius and I completely took advantage. Then, when he found out, he miraculously forgave us, but you can see that punishing me could only come natural to him after three or so decades of history. You shouldn’t want me to feel that way about you. I, on the contrary, deserve it.”

Much food for thought there, and Theo didn’t really know how to feel about any of it. “But what if I want you to anyway? What happens then?”

“If you do, I’m afraid my usefulness to you ends here. If you want someone to use you and objectify you in a different way to how I can, then you need to accept that and look for that person. Although I would like you to keep your safety into consideration. It doesn’t mean you and I cannot play anymore, it just means that I’m not everything you thought you wanted.”

Theo threw their arms around James’s neck, smothering him in the tightest hug.

“But I really want you to be, Uncle Jamie. You were supposed to be my safe option.”

“I know. But now you _see_ me too. People are never what you want them to be, no matter how hard you project. Please don’t think that anything needs to change between us. It just means that on top of me, you may need someone else as well. Trust me, one person is never going to be enough. I just feel honoured that I was your first.”

Theo felt like crying, but they recognised the truth in what James was saying. It had been a nice fantasy, thinking that Uncle Jamie could be the “safe alternative” indefinitely and they’d never have to risk themselves. Self-preservation was their number one priority, always, but growing up involves pushing one’s limits.

It was true that their play dates weren’t quite hitting the spot after the initial revelations. Turns out that when you manage to fill one void, another one opens.

“I think you’re right,” said Theo dejectedly.

“Hey, look at me. We can keep doing this for as long as you want, I could never want to stop. And once you’ve had enough, that’s cool too. I could even help you find someone more suited. Anything you want, Sirius, Remus and I will do it for you.”

“That’s supposed to be my line,” pouted Theo.

“There’s a difference between play and real life. If you’re looking for a 24/7 thing that’s fine too, but it’s very rare. And you’re still so young. They’re going to have to pass my vetting.”

“What a fatherly thing to say,” said Theo bemused.

“I thought you liked that.”

“I think you like that more. I like you more as a man than as a father-figure.”

“You really are a dream, aren’t you? C’mon, stop thinking. Plenty of time for that. Let’s do something fun before you have to go home.”

“In that case, can you please tie me to the ceiling again?”

“Of course, sweetheart. Anything you want. I’ll even look mean and spit in your face while I do it.”


	9. Stupid Love (Remus/Sirius)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Remus renew their vows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my subscribers, thank you for your patience. After this chapter, I will do an overall edit and publish the epilogue, which will be the tenth and final instalment of 'A Cheating Odyssey'. Some minor details may be altered in the process. 
> 
> Please note that no matter how self-aware I’ve portrayed Remus, his brain has been fucked with since he was a teenager and Sirius has relentlessly poured gasoline over the flame. The fact that this is framed as romantic in the story may be triggering for some.

Remus was lying down next to his sleeping husband on a warm summer morning.They’d known each other for almost three decades; an entire life dedicated to this ridiculous man. It was difficult to feel any regret when having permission to gaze upon Sirius’s face was all teenage Remus had ever hoped for.

The last few years had been a whirlwind, and it seemed like yesterday that Theo was born. They were now in a foreseen yet shocking stage where both Harri and Theo had left home for good. They’d taken a sabbatical at the same time to travel around magical communities abroad. Harri was going to find a flatshare and follow in her parents’ footsteps to work with the Ministry, and Theo was waiting to start their History undergraduate at Oxford, having decided to live with Muggles for at least a few years.

James, Lily, Sirius, and Remus had organised a farewell party to see their children off on the day of their flight. After they’d left, suitcases in hand, the foursome ended up sitting in the Potter’s living room, each staring blankly at the floor.

“We did it,” murmured Lily, incredulously.

“What’s ‘it’?” asked Sirius, laughing.

“We made them, we raised them, we got rid of them. The cycle is complete, I can start a vegetable patch and go on a cruise. Oh my god, we did it, guys!” she exclaimed, with a face-splitting grin.

“Lils, you know that really important job that you have?" intervened James. "I’m afraid the fact that your daughter has gone gallivanting across Europe is not a good excuse to get holiday leave,” he muttered moodily, feeling quite devastated that he would only see his two babies a handful of times a year from now on.

“Wait, are we all about to have a mid-life crisis?” asked Remus, sounding worried. “I’m not too keen on pulling the three of you out of an existential black hole. In fact, I was planning on smoking and drinking and passing out naked on the couch like I used to do twenty years ago, preferably with Sirius on top of me.”

“Precisely like twenty years ago, then” added Sirius, with a roguish grin.

James took a deep breath in, seemingly thinking really hard about something. Then, on an exhale: “Yeah, fuck it, where’s the bong?”

Overall, it had been an innocent night of fun and exhilaration, proving that the four were ready to spend thirty more years together.

Remus missed Theo intensely, but he also appreciated this resetting. It gave him space to really think about the mess between all of them and to finally process all the shit they’d put each other through. In classic Sirius fashion, him and his husband had yet to have an honest conversation about The Game. Sure, Remus had blindly thrown himself into the thick of things, but it was precisely to avoid reflecting on all the cheating and manipulation James and Sirius had enjoyed at his and many others’ expense.

The spouses mostly continued to operate as they used to, and had tacitly agreed to communicate through James. If they wanted to set up a play date for the three of them, or any two-man sexcapades, Remus and Sirius never talked about it to each other. It was difficult to tell if it was to protect their marriage or the foundations of the game. The sexual dynamics between Sirius and Remus had also remained unchanged, despite James’s encouragements – if he wasn’t there, they operated as they had as teenagers.

The most confident moments of Remus’s life remained when he had James Potter kneeling at his feet. That was simple and primal, amidst all the chaos. It also helped that James had never claimed to love him romantically.

There were only so many punches and kicks he could inflict on James before even his blood stopped giving him satisfaction, however.

Now seemed as good a time as any to clarify where his marriage stood. Remus knew that, if necessary, he would keep living in this limbo until the day he died if it meant having Sirius by his side, but he was sick of feeling sorry for himself whenever he felt a spark of love for his beautiful husband. He knew that if he saw one of his students display such fragile self-worth, he would encourage them to stand up for themselves. Now in his forties, it was perhaps time to take his own advice.

And so here he was, about to ambush Sirius first thing in the morning with a we-need-to-talk look. Sirius was always more honest in the morning, before he had time to retrieve all the bullshit from the recesses of his brain.

“I’m not used to you looking at me like that,” whispered Sirius upon laying his sleepy eyes on his husband.

“Like what?”

“Like you used to look at James when he was touching me.”

“I used to always be suspicious," he replied, simply. 

“I’m sorry.” Sirius had the guts to sound genuine.

Now or never. “You know, Pads, I’ve impressed myself with my ability to get over it. I feel a bit pathetic for still loving you as much as I do. Sometimes I feel like I keep loving you more every day." Difficult pause. "I guess, what I want to know, is if you’re truly happy with me, and if you believe in our marriage.” A bit blunt, but it would do. 

Remus had said all of this softly, staring at the ceiling and getting lost in all the thoughts he’d been having recently. When he realised no reply was forthcoming, he turned towards his husband who was likewise staring at the ceiling, dripping fat tears onto the pillow.

“Sirius?”

“I don’t deserve you, Moony. It’s all so absurd. How could you love me?” His voice was ripped to shreds.

“I thought the whole point is that you’ve always been certain of my stubbornness in loving you.” It was shockingly rare to see Sirius cry, and Remus was not equipped to react to that. 

“C’mere.” Sirius re-positioned them so that they were lying on their sides, hands in hands facing each other. He took a deep breath before he continued. Their sheets smelt of _them _and Remus smelt of _home _and he didn’t know if what he was about to say would allow him to keep all of it.

“I’ve always known, since we were children, that you’ve put me on this pedestal. I know that you think I’m the most gorgeous person you’ve ever seen, and I know that you think I’m everything you’re not and you consider that a good thing. But, and this is the part I’ve never told you, I don’t see it that way at all. I’ve tried my best to keep you thinking that way. I’m a bad person. I’m vain, selfish, cruel, and I did everything I could so that you wouldn’t notice just how much. When you first kissed me… I decided I wanted to keep you. I still wanted to keep you when I asked you to marry me.” A guilty pause. “And I knew it would make James happy.”

Remus could only laugh drily at that. “Just to clarify. If James had left Lily and asked you to be with him officially, you would’ve left me for him?”

Sirius made himself nod. He couldn’t lie to Remus any longer. “I didn’t know there was any other way. Oh Moony, if you’ve finally decided that I’m not worth your time, it’s okay. When you took my relationship with him in stride, I was too afraid you’d change your mind to ever bring it up properly. It’s about time you started hating me anyway. I can pack my stuff and leave, you have every right. But please know that I still want to live the rest of my life with you; with you, James, and Lily. So, you know, if this request can still reach that young, precious part of you that’d do anything for me – then, please, be my husband for a little while longer.”

Remus felt fifteen all over again. Naïve, reckless, and disgustingly infatuated. He felt pain, and love, and surrender.

“Oh but Sirius,” he implored, wiping a tear off the other’s long lashes. “I _adore _you.” The words felt even more true as he looked straight into his husband’s eyes.

“Then stay.”

Maybe Remus had been looking at this all wrong. He had been thinking like a normal person, and from there emerged all those murky feelings. Of insecurity, resentment, righteousness. He wanted to hold Sirius accountable for his actions. He wanted something an apology couldn’t give. Anyone else would’ve asked for a divorce, a punishment, would’ve maybe even killed themselves in shame at being treated that way.

But Remus Lupin didn’t _really_ want any of those things. He’d always been a simple man. He wanted to read good books, he wanted to be a good parent, hopefully a decent teacher, and he wanted permission to openly worship Sirius Black.

Maybe his first mad reaction to his friends’ confession, to calmly take it all in stride and join the parade, was the only sane approach. Maybe he could let himself inhabit the world of JamesandSirius and settle in it for good. After all, if he forgave Sirius everything and remained just as devoted to this undeserving man - then, well, only God needed to know. Fuck self-respect, and morality, and retribution. Why should he give up on the only thing he’d ever wanted? Sirius had told him he was allowed to have it.

Tucking a stray silky strand behind Sirius’s ear, a gesture that made his heart skip a beat whenever he let himself do it, he said what he should’ve let himself say years ago. “I cannot leave you even though I should. I cannot leave, but I also want you to love me.”

Grey eyes widened at the confession. In full Padfoot fashion, he threw himself on top of Remus and started peppering his face and neck with desperate little kisses and licks, rubbing the tears on his cheeks into his husband’s skin. 

“I know it may not mean very much from someone like me, but - I love you, Remus John Lupin.”

Incredulously, Remus profoundly felt that it was all real. This was his reality. “Okay.”

“Yeah?" asked Sirius, excitedly. "Is it really okay?” They were so close, breaths and thoughts intermingling.

“Yeah," he giggled. _Giggled_. "I’m making an executive decision: it’s okay.” When he felt the corners of his mouth lift into a blinding smile, Remus found that for once the smile had appeared unsolicited by his conscious mind.

“Fuck me, Re," Sirius uttered, with fervour. "I want a happy ending with you.”

“It seems like I’d be happy with a bad ending so long as it was with you.” For the first time in thirty years, Remus took control of his shining star.

He manoeuvred them so that Sirius was pinned hard beneath him, silky black crown splayed out in a halo, expression fascinated by Remus. _Fascinated by Remus_. One day he'd get his head around it.

“I don’t deserve you, Re.” It was still unsettling to see Sirius wavering, and he wasn’t sure if he liked it.

“No, you don’t. But it’s okay. Because I deserve you. I’m going to let myself have you. Executive decision, remember?”

Sirius flashed him a shy smile and the sentiment in it burned and ripped up Remus’s insides.

“You’ll let me have you, won’t you?” He gripped both of Sirius’s hands in one of his large paws, the other pressing light but secure around his delicate neck.

“Yes. Take me, please. You can do anything you want to me.” Sirius had never seemed more sincere, and Remus wondered deliriously if they’d been fucking wrong for three decades.

If they had been anyone else, at this point Sirius could’ve said things like “I’m all yours” or “I want you to show me that you own me”, but the wretch had promised that he’d stop lying, and ignoring James’s existence would do them no good.

“I can’t believe you never let me see this side of you. You’re really just a submissive little boy, aren’t you?” Remus did not expect to elicit a gasped moan at that. “You want me to be mean to you, love? Think you deserve some punishment for being bad?”

“Yes, please,” Sirius moaned again. “You can hurt me if you want. Punish me for what I did to you. Anything at all, I deserve anything you do to me,” he went on rambling.

“But you don’t even deserve to be hurt by me, do you? You’d deserve for me to leave you here, leaking into the sheets, and to never touch you again.”

“No, no, Remus, you're right, I didn’t mean it, please don’t leave me, anything but that. You can abuse me however you want but please don’t leave me.”

Sirius Black begging in his hold. Huh. He had a frantic look in his eyes and the line between the scene and their real lives was getting dangerously blurred - but Sirius had never, deep down, known there was any such difference.

Remus violently flipped Sirius and, releasing his hold, tore off his underwear in an uncharacteristic show of strength.

“Fu-uck.” Sirius was overwhelmed by how excruciatingly turned on that made him.

Roughly grabbing the black hair in a tight hold to smother his husband’s face into the pillows, our dear Remus lifted his palm and hit the object of his love for the very first time.

After the first, he found that he could not stop. He continued past Sirius’s first pained gasp, past his twentieth, past the screams and the tears and the rawness of the skin and the rawness of his heart.

He only stopped when he heard Sirius cry out a thank you.

“Because of your disgusting games, you made James fucking Potter take my virginity and deprived me of my right to fuck you, to hurt you – do you even fucking understand what you’ve done? You’re filth. Beautiful, perhaps, but filth nonetheless.”

Remus flipped the love of his life back round to face him only to smack him _hard_ twice in the face. For the first time in his life, Sirius looked ugly. And desperate, and expectant, and _he was everything_.

Finally feeling that his violent needs had been sated, Remus went through the motions of using the spells to prepare his husband for a hard, loving fuck. Sirius’s eyes never left his – despite his throbbing ass, his pulsing face, his burning eyes, and his imploding heart.

Just as Remus sunk all satisfying nine inches inside Sirius Black’s body, the mouth he idolises uttered the only thing it had any right to say. “I love you. You have to believe that I love you, I’ve loved you, I love you so much…” repeated Sirius incoherently, like a mantra, scratching ten deep lines into the werewolf’s back.

“Do you love me as much as you love James?” Remus asked, starting to gracefully fuck in and out of the elusive land he’d conquered.

Sirius widened his eyes as if receiving an electric shock, before they once again filled with tears and pure misery. “I’m sorry, ‘m sorry, I don’t know, Re, I really don’t, ’m so fucking sorry, I don’t know…” he sobbed uncontrollably.

“It’s okay, love. It’s okay, “ he shushed, firmly tucking a strand of long hair behind his husband’s ear. “Padfoot, look at me.”

Suddenly snapping out of his guilt loop, Sirius finally looked up at Remus’s sharp eyes, still feeling the slick, slow, and unrelenting slide. If Remus could stay hard and wanting through all of this, maybe JamesandSirius really was the place for him.

“Padfoot, you must remember that I’ve always known this about you, ever since we were boys. It’s true, now I know quite a bit more than I used to, but I would never try to compete with James.”

“But Moony…mmh!” Sirius was interrupted when Remus’s hand silenced him. The meaningful and inexorable fucking never stopped. Sirius's insides were tearing up, and the endorphins were sending him on a whole new high. 

“Let me finish,” Remus uttered in time with a hard thrust. “I’m not going to lie and say you never hurt me throughout the years. That was your intention after all.” Sirius looked like he wanted to protest further, but Remus silenced him again by forcefully fucking into his prostate. “At the same time, there’s no reason why you should need to choose. I’ve loved you ever since I was thirteen and all these years later I still love you more than life itself. Aren’t I showing you my love right now?”

Remus’s thighs were torturing the red, red skin by slapping against it, his body digging deeper and deeper to offer pain as pleasure. It was too much of a stretch not to hurt and burn and make Sirius succumb. It was made only more delicious by the awareness that he’d deprived himself of this heaven because of one of James's whims.

The pain climbed and soared and overtook every nerve ending of his taut muscles and overstretched heart and before he knew it he was coming around Remus like he was meant to do.

“Fuck! I'm going to come inside you, my love.” The werewolf reflexively tightened his claws into Sirius’s hip and face and came deep inside the bleeding pretty insides of his lover. “You felt it, didn’t you? My love for you.”

Sirius had. For the first time, they had hit the same plane of existence, and the understanding between the two settled tightly around them like a warm sun-dried blanket.

They took a moment to stare into each other’s eyes and tell the other they _knew_. 

“Pads. I understand that you love me differently to how you love James. Frankly, I don’t think I would even want to be on the receiving end of that mangled emotion. To know that you love me even a fraction of how much I love you is enough for me.”

“Can I talk now?” Sirius mumbled against his husband’s hand.

“Go for it,” encouraged Remus with a small smile, collapsing half on his husband, half on the bed. He could feel the bits of skin that were still scorching hot against him.

“I guess it’s all my fault that you’ve turned out this way, isn’t it?” He was still out of breath. “I used to get off on it – the way you thought I was too good for you. It wasn’t until after I asked you to marry me that I realised that perhaps you had never been a game after all. James gets in my head so much sometimes that I think everything he says is my own idea. I think that even as a teenager I already had feelings for you, but didn’t acknowledge it because James didn’t.”

What could they do now but laugh about it? “This is all so fucked up isn’t it?”

“Yeah. But you said it was okay?” asked Sirius, heart-breakingly hopeful.

“Well, I don’t plan on going anywhere.” He heard himself sound soppy, looking upon his husband like he was experiencing love at first sight. But it didn’t make him feel sick or pathetic anymore. He just felt ecstatic that he was allowed to obsessively love this creature called Sirius Black.

“Good. And just so you know, James loves you too,” he said, firmly.

“Sure," he replied, shrugging. "But I don’t really care about that,” he answered, hypnotically running his slender fingers through the pool of come on their stomachs.

“But I thought...? Sorry for assuming, but I thought you’d be insecure about it.”

Remus let out a sincere scoff. “I know that James loves me, in whatever way he is capable of loving me. He is, despite everything, my other best friend. But I would survive even if he didn’t. It’s just always been you.”

Sirius was staring at him again. _Fascinated._

“You know how you said earlier that you sometimes feel like you love me more every day?“ asked Sirius. “Well, I _know _that you’ve made me love you and need you more and more every day you’ve been in my life. If I let myself…if I continue this way and you continue being you, one day I promise I will catch up. For the time being, I hope the amount of love I currently feel for you can be enough.” Sirius carefully pressed his lips to one of the loves of his life, and it was perfect.

“That’s a big claim you’ve made there,” commented Remus, blushing and smiling bashfully at how pleased he was.

Sirius kissed him reverently on the lips again. “I guess I’ll just have to spend the rest of my life showing you.”

It may be a bittersweet happy ending to yearn for, but it was the only honest one they could give each other.


	10. Happy Ever After (James/Sirius)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue: Sirius needs to be told that he will forever be James's number one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah Jesus, after this weird fic I need a palate cleanser. Thank you to everyone who subscribed, left comments or kudos, or bookmarked the work. It was fun to ease myself into the self-indulgent world of fanfiction, and I look forward to writing hearty, wholesome stuff in the future. Maybe a James/Sirius/Remus fic where everyone's a sweetheart and they are just painfully and equally devoted to each other, who knows!
> 
> The reference in this chapter to Uncle Alphard can be found in Part 3 of the series which shall be my next project to finish. That one will also be intensely dirty, so I'll become wholesome after that. 
> 
> Check out Part 2 of the series if you need just that lil extra fix of JamesandSirius.

James and Sirius were looking forward to some stolen time whilst Remus and Lily went to the Edinburgh Fringe for the weekend.

Age had been kind to them, but remained the disarming adversary to their vanity. According to his best friend, James had only gotten more attractive with the years gone by, as his was the kind of masculine beauty that could only increase with age and charming wrinkles around the eyes. If his skin was thicker and his muscles slightly weaker, Sirius wouldn’t point it out but still secretly revelled in all forms of his best friend’s body. Despite everything they’d been through together, the void that constantly yearned to be filled by James never abated.

It was difficult not to worry about whether James still found him pretty. He still got called sexy, and handsome, and gorgeous, but Sirius wanted to feel pretty in that rosy-cheeked, pastel pink kind of way no matter how old he got. He decided it was time for an intervention.

He woke up at the crack of dawn to send Remus off and immediately got to work. He wanted to recreate the virginal teenage whore look he’d displayed when he first went to meet his Uncle Alphard. He started with a spell that would shave everything, from the hair on his chest to the hair around his hole, all the way down to his feet. He proceeded to apply his skin care products manually, like a sensuous ritual, until his skin was all supple and shiny. For his hair, he found the gold and silver ribbons from all those years ago and interwove them into a side plait resting right beneath his collarbone. For clothes, he wore a simple pair of black lace panties underneath tight black jeans and a soft baby pink t-shirt that stretched tight across his chest and lewdly highlighted his fat nipples.

As he was applying the final touches of lip-gloss and mascara, he couldn’t help but think of his relationship with James over the course of his life. He still remembered the first spit-soaked kiss like it was yesterday. Despite their respective marriages, they had never stopped making time for each other. Every lunch break in an alley or pub near the Ministry, every time Lily went to visit her family, even sometimes when Remus had just gone to the shops to buy bread, they would create time for JamesandSirius, Padfoot and Prongs.

Sirius knew that he hadn’t much evolved from that whiny teenager who would’ve begged for scraps of James’s attention, and it was exhilarating that the need had never waned. He did his best to contain it sometimes, would get shy about how ravenous he was for his best friend. It was difficult not to fear that it would come across as clingy.

He knew that James still sought him out and sex was as good as it had ever been (if not better), but Sirius wondered if they had fallen into stale habits by being together for so long.

What if James got off to the sex but not to his body? Would James even want him if it wasn’t for all the kinks and sexual fantasies he got to indulge in when they played together? After all, his best friend had gotten a taste of lovely Theo, who was younger and better than Sirius in every way. He’d also been spending more and more time with Remus, who dished out a delicious kind of sadism Sirius couldn’t master. Of course he still belonged to James, that went without saying, but was he still his favourite toy?

He knocked hesitantly at the Potters’ front door. Now that he was here, outside the bubble of his grungy bedroom, he felt incredibly silly and young in all the wrong ways. Maybe he’d overdone it. What if James found the idea of a dolled up 40-something-year-old man laughable?

No, Sirius was forgetting that this was James. Whenever he felt any insecurity, ever since he had been eleven, he just had to remember that everything was okay because it was James. If the makeup didn't look good on him, they could wash it off. If the panties looked tacky, easy enough to remove them. If Sirius's desperation was overbearing, he would behave however he was instructed to. If there was something wrong with him, they would fix it together. Sirius was James's to manipulate as he pleased, and it was okay if he wasn't always pleasing because they would make him so. 

Just as he was succeeding in calming down his beating heart, feeling as giddy as all the other hundreds of thousands of times they had laid eyes upon each other in the past few decades, James opened the door with a smile that quickly fell off his face. Only to be replaced by an expression of pure adoration.

"Hey Pads." He sounded breathless.

"Hey Jamie." Sirius felt like a high-schooler who was about to enter a boy’s room for the first time.

"Would you like to come in, Baby-Cheeks?"

"Oh Honey-Puff, I thought you'd never ask!" Sirius had a manic grin on his face. Why did he ever waste time worrying?

The moment he got through the door, James cornered him against the hallway mirror, strong arms caging his delicate face in. "You did this all for me?" He looked…flattered. One would’ve thought he’d have taken it for granted. He went to touch Sirius's shiny lips, but didn't want to ruin it, like a beautiful cake one felt guilty for eating. 

“So beautiful, Siri. What’s the special occasion?”

Sirius was blushing bright red, his cheeks pulsing with blood. “I just wanted to look pretty for you.” It was said in a strangled whisper.

James was taken aback by the sudden bashfulness. Sure, sometimes they played games where they pretended to be shy and virginal, but this didn’t sound like make-pretend at all. Could it be that Sirius had noticed that James had gotten insecure about his attractiveness to his best friend?

“Pads, it’s okay. You don’t need to flatter me, I’m a big boy.”

Now it was Sirius’s turn to be confused. “What do you mean? I’m not…I’m not angling for anything.”

“I know you’re not. I just mean that you don’t need to try and make me feel better just because I’ve grown into a middle-aged dad. I know you’ll always love me.”

Sirius was so confused. “Make you feel better? Why would I need to make you feel better?”

“Okay, there’s obviously some miscommunication going on here, let’s sit on the sofa.” He dragged Sirius to the living room, but couldn’t stop himself from groping the sliver of flesh between the baby pink tee and the low-waisted jeans.

They ended up in a position that had always offered comfort and safety, their legs entwined, faces close, torsos barely touching with Sirius straddling James’s warm body.

“You first,” they both offered once they’d settled in.

“Okay, me first,” giggled James, pecking Sirius on the nose. “First of all, you’re the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen. You always are, but today gives me an opportunity to point it out. I guess I’ve started to wish my good-looking days goodbye. You could say I’m having a middle-age crisis. I know it’s unbecoming for me to sound so insecure, and I know you don’t like it.” He couldn’t help but grimace at what he was saying. “What I’m trying to say is that you don’t have to try and make me feel better by showing me you still find me desirable. I’ve always been proud of the way I looked, but I never thought you were with me because of it and you’ve always been the irresistible one. But hey, I’ll accept my gift, you look good enough to eat.”

James concluded his explanation with as close to a bashful smile as someone like him could make, but Sirius was flabbergasted. He had stopped rubbing little circles on the sides of James’s neck and could only breathe and stare.

“You think I did this for you? To make you feel better?” he tried to ask, still processing.

“Yeah? …Or not?”

“No, Jamie. That’s not it at all! You’ve always been the most handsome man I’ve ever seen and you still will be when we’re old and decrepit. To be honest, I kind of did this because I was afraid you didn’t find me pretty anymore, and I was hoping this would make you see me that way again.”

“Again? Jesus, Padfoot, when the fuck would I ever have stopped seeing you that way?” asked James, bewildered.

“I don’t know, somewhere along my inevitable path to middle age. My body and my face are not really what they used to be.”

Upon locking eyes, they both spent a moment really figuring out what had just happened, to then burst out laughing.

“This is ridiculous,” stated James, once they’d both stopped laughing quite so hard. “That you and I, of all people, felt insecure about the same thing.”

Once a deep sense of understanding settled over them, it felt like they were fourteen again, sweet and messy, swapping spit like it was going out of fashion.

Their mouths opened up to each other, slick lips sliding bruisingly against each other, James’s tongue ploughing in and out of Sirius’s mouth, invasive, entitled, and utterly perfect. And Sirius, sucking wetly on it, tasting it, getting fucked by it in complete submission and veneration.

They separated, only to watch a thick string of spit connecting their red raw lips, and they surged and crashed and swallowed the taste of each other again and again and again until they were both hard and panting. Sirius kept licking his lips, trying to chase the flavour he couldn’t get enough of.

James grabbed him _hard_ around the waist, digging into the flesh and ribs that contained a beating heart. “I want to penetrate my favourite hole now. That hole that exists just for me. Spread your legs for me, display yourself.”

With a soft moan, Sirius got up to remove his trousers, quickly rushing back down, lowering himself into the waiting lap, spreading his legs as wide as he could and then wider still, grinding his hips in a fast rhythm as if James were already fucking him stupid. The tip of his wet cock was dampening the black lace, leaving a slick spot as he kept on humping the air.

Fortunately, James was just wearing sweatpants, which he lowered just enough for his throbbing cock to spring out of, hitting Sirius’s taint with a wet smack. He then grabbed the panties to slide them to the side of Sirius’s arse, fully intending on fucking him with them on.

"I want to grope you all over, feel up what's mine. You made yourself all smooth and slick for me didn't you? I feel so fucking lucky, a gorgeous doll like you just for me. Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you." James was looking at him deeply and desperately, a myriad of scenes flashing before his eyes of what he could do to this delightful body. 

It took a second too long for Sirius to speak up. He had to stop gyrating his hips and take in a deep breath. "Could we maybe just have sex today?"

"As opposed to what?" asked James, amused. 

"Uhm. It's okay, never mind. I want what you want, as always."

James wasn't having that. "Hey, no, look at me. I might own you, but I love you. And I take care of what's mine. Tell me what you want and it shall be yours." 

Taking another deep breath, he willed himself to answer. "Just, I don't want any fantasies or games today. Just, you know, my body and yours. Like when we were kids."

"Oh Siri,” sighed James, finally understanding. “I can’t believe you don’t know. That I’m so in awe of you sometimes all I do at a party is watch your body move. This is so cheesy, but whenever I get off by myself I do it to thoughts of you. You at my wedding, you at my last birthday, you at fifteen, you at graduation, and I’ll have to add the you of today to the never-ending list. You’ve always been the one, I need you to know that.”

For the sake of his makeup, he was attempting not to let the tears fall, but halfway through James’s speech he felt something inside him _shatter_. “I’m sorry for doubting you. But you must know that I feel exactly the same about you. Since we met, you have always been my ‘Til Death Do Us Apart.”

And with that declaration, Sirius grabbed the part of James that had most often invaded his body, rubbing the head back and forth against his waiting hole.

“I can’t believe you’ve got your hair done up like this again.” James was humping upwards, trying to get his cock to penetrate that tight ring. “My own teenage dream. Here, let me.”

They both held their breaths until they were as connected as could be, their tongues reaching out to double that connection, yearning to be inside the other, be consumed so entirely they could no longer distinguish flesh from flesh. Wanting more _never enough never enough _James bit into Sirius’s tongue and engorged lips, tasting red, sucking and slurping and fucking, Sirius coming untouched at the pain and how _right_ it felt to give pleasure and be desired in such a visceral way.

“So fucking pretty, tastes so good, fuck, yeah like that, fuck yourself harder onto me, that’s it, so pretty for me, you’re gonna drive me fucking insane.” Grabbing the crop top and yanking it behind Sirius’s head, binding like a slutty teenage harness, James latched onto his swollen nipples next, biting and licking them raw.

Coming up for air, rubbing his cheeks roughly against Sirius’s chest as he got closer and closer to orgasm, he couldn’t stop the streaming words of adoration from spilling. “You make me burn up with want, just your smell, having you close, your beating heart sitting there, safely inside this body that drives me fucking crazy with how much I want to have you over and over again. And the fact that you just let me, always have, always will, fuck!” He’d started trusting up so hard he could no longer speak, could only incoherently start kissing again, leaking and furious.

Sirius was elated - he felt like they were both made of liquid sunshine, glowing and throbbing, wanting and wanted, and with a last bout of renewed arousal he clenched as tight as he could, riding harder, sweaty thighs loudly smacking, wanting to keep James there forever, receiving his spill inside his body, right towards his heart.

It took moment after moment to come down from such a high, but they eventually found themselves just smiling at each other, still slightly panting, sated yet ravenous to do it all over again. 

“My pretty Siri. I was so surprised when I saw you at the door. Frankly, I thought the days of you dressing up for me were long gone.”

“Did you think it silly?" he asked, although still smiling now that his insecurities had been quelled.

“Silly? Why the fuck would I think it silly? It made me feel _amazing._ Just thinking of you in front of the mirror, making yourself pretty for me, just because it would please me, just because you wanted to please me. Oh Sirius, you’ve made me so happy.”

“I love you, Jamie. So much,” he insisted, trying to pour a lifetime of emotion into those few words.

“And I love you more than anything. Please never forget that, we’ve still got quite a few years to go, after all. And I intend to spend them all adoring you.”

“Me too, James,” he sighed happily. “Me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to make a donation by investing a few seconds of your life in leaving me a comment, you shall make me happy.


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